CHAPTER 11 -It's not that easy!-

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WARNING -ED-SADNESS- -Play Song On Repeat- 

EMMA'S POV-

        I was staring at myself in the mirror, I haven't eaten in days and I haven't talked to anyone since the funeral.. When I saw myself in the Mirror and focused on how skinny I was... My bones that are showing through my skin, my paleness, my eyebags... I wasn't insecure, but when Finny died I realized that he was the one that kept telling me how beautiful I was, and since he can't say it to me anymore, my security faded... I walked away from the mirror and to my closet. I grabbed a hoodie and put it on my body and walked into my bathroom, I grabbed the scale and I stepped onto it 110, the screen flashed.. I got off and put it away, then walked back into my room and curled into a  ball in my bed.. *DING DING* My phone dinged, I grabbed it and looked at it, 45 missed calls and messages from Hughie, 19 missed calls from  Johnny, 23 missed messages from Gibs, 56 missed  calls from Shannon, Claire, and Lizzie. I threw my phone on the ground and flipped my body around so that my face was in my pillow... and then I broke down, "God, why did you take him so  early!!" I screamed and cried into my pillow... It's not getting any better...

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I have been crying for hours now until I heard a knock, I slowly got up and looked out my window to see who it is cause my window looks out to the front of the house, I don't see anything so I walked downstairs and looked out the peephole and see Johnny, I opened the door and looked up at the tall brunette that was at my front door, "Oh god Em, you look terrible" Johnny said while looking down at me, "You haven't been eating have you... Oh em..."Johnny said while pulling my limp body into a hug, a hug I desperately needed. I cried into Johnny's chest and tightened my grip around his torso, man I needed this fucking hug... "EMMA?!" Someone said in the distance and I pulled away and looked at someone who was lunging towards me, the one and only Gibs. "Oh Emma!"  He said and grabbed me and held me tightly,  I relaxed into his body and just let everything inside me out, I needed his hugs as well but I needed a Hughie hug the most... "You look awful little Em, have you been eating?!"  Gibs said while pulling away from the hug and placing his hand on my shoulder, "N-no... I haven't.. I haven't been hungry.." I said while wiping my eyes, "W-where's Hughie.." I said  while looking down "I'm right here baby.."  A voice said from behind Johnny and Gibs, I looked to see who said it and I saw Hughie, the person who I desperately needed, "Come here baby, I'm right here"Hughie said while grabbing me and hugging me, I felt my knees give out and I fell down on my knees crying into Hughie's  chest as he held me. "I-I can't do it  anymore Hugh... I-I just can't." I said while I felt two sets of arms wrap around me and I knew it was Gibs and Johnny, god I needed this..

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HUGHIE'S POV-

  Seeing her like this is hurting me, "Come on baby, you need too eat.." I said while trying to get Emma to eat but she keeps refusing, "Baby, can  you at least shower for me..." I said giving up trying to have her eat, Johnny and Gibs left because Emma said she just needed me and that she'll let them know how she is doing. "I'll do that.." Emma said as she got up and started to walk until she stopped, "C-come on.." She said turning around and looking at me while holding her hand out, did she want me to shower with her...? "Oh, I didn't know you wanted me to come with you." I said while standing up,  and walking to her grabbing her had as she continued to walk up the vintage wooden staircase and up to her room.

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    After her shower, we were back in the kitchen. She was clean and had fresh clothes on, but now for the hard part... "Come on Em, you can do it.. Just breathe and  eat the chicken.." said while rubbing my thumb over her hand "It's not that easy! Hughie,  I c-can't! I  don't want too.." She said getting upset and I just looked at her, "I-It's not easy at all Hugh.." She said putting her head into her hands, "Finny would want you to eat.." I said while looking at my girlfriend who was in so much pain, "He wouldn't like to see you like this, it's  hard baby I know  but you have to eat..  You are putting you, your health and you're body  in danger." I said while my heart was breaking into bits, "It's not that easy!!" She said again but then continued, "I know he would want me to but I-I just can't....  It hurts Hugh... It hurts so much." She said while tears trickled down her cheeks, I got up and  moved to her wrapping my arms around her and placed my chin on top of her head which was nuzzled into my chest. "I-I'll try... Okay I'll do it for  you.." She said  as she pulled away and stuffed the chicken into her mouth, "I'm so proud of you baby, so proud  of you!" I said and kissed her swollen lips hard and she instantly melted into the kiss. I'm so  proud of this beautiful girl that was my girlfriend.

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