Loving, Mr Waters

CHAPTER FOURTY-FIVE

THANDO
The following days in the hospital are filled with doctors coming in and out to check up on me, drinking more medicine and my loved ones visiting.
Matthew has been amazing. He been taking care of me nonstop and little Trey visited constantly which made my days in the hospital better.
"When can I go home doctor?" I ask Dr Barker who's been taking very good of me.
"Eager to get away from us, Miss Khumalo?" She asks jokingly.
"I hate hospitals."
"Well since you asked I'm happy to let you know that you can go home tomorrow."
"Thank God."
"Very well. I'll see you in the morning."
As soon as Doctor Barker leave the room Matthew come back to where he was sitting next to my bed. I look at the man that's been taking care of me in every way and never once left my side wondering where do we go from here.
As I sit here I reflect on the last few days of how I almost died and how much all this opened my eyes. Miranda almost took away my life but I believe God saved me for a good reason. And I know one of those reasons being to be with Matthew. I admit I want him back but as much as I want to give in I can't. For the first time in my life I want him to fight for me and bring us back.
This time around I need him to be with me wholeheartedly. I want to hear him telling me that he trusts me completely and wants a relationship with me. One that is based on trust and honesty.
"Thando?"
I  meet his questioning eyes. "Huh?"
"Are you hungry?"
I shake my head. "I'm gonna get fat if you keep on feeding me so much."
"You need to eat." He commands and I shiver at his tone.
"Please pass me my phone. I need to call my mom and let her know I'll be staying with them for a while." I tell the man that's staring at me like I'm crazy.
"What are you talking about? I already told your parents you'll be staying with me."
"What? Why would you say that?" I ask shocked by his words.
"Because it makes perfect sense that I'll be taking care of you at the comfort of my home. And besides your parents are staying with my parents." He states as if that should make absolute sense to me.
I refuse getting frustrated. "I'm not going home with you Matthew."
Seriously, why is he acting as if we're a couple that should be going home together?
"Why?" He pushes and I glare at him daring him to ask me that question again.
He lets out a long breath before he ask. "Is this because of us?"
"We're not together Matthew so there's no need for you to take care of me." I regret the words coming out of my mouth the moment I say them but can't bring myself to take them back as I'm met with Matthew's glare.
"Thando." He whispers my name as if in pain and I avert my eyes refusing to look at him.
Why can't he just tell me he trust me?
"Baby," He says again and there goes my tears. "Please don't cry, you have no idea how much it pains me to see you cry."
I fire back. "And you have no idea how much it pains me to say no to one of the things I want the most Matthew."
How is possible that Miranda is out of the picture yet still holds so much power over him?
He clears his throat and stands up pacing while I sit on the bed watching him.
"I thought my actions speaks louder than words but I suppose in this case words does."
I look at him as he comes closer to me and takes my hands in his.
What does that mean?
"Thando,"
The way he says my name with so much meaning and lock eyes with me I can't help the goosebumps that erupts all over my body. "Before you I promised myself I would never fall in love again."
My heart race rapidly as I look at him.
He clears his throat then continues. "That I would never let anyone else have a piece of myself or even get close to me but over the last few days without you in my life and seeing you lying in that hospital bed opened my eyes."
No, can this be it? The moment I've been waiting for my whole life?
"Matthew." I whisper but he shakes his head putting his finger on my mouth.
"Let me." He tells me as I nod and squeezing his hand.
"I've decided to not let my past dictate how I'm going to live my life anymore, that I won't let it get in the way of what is important to me. I'm not going to let that be me anymore. Today, right now I'm taking a stand."
I weep for the courage he's showing and the words I've longed to hear from him.
"I know that after all the pain I've caused you, I don't deserve you nor your forgiveness but here I am begging for it anyway.
"I love you, I love you so much I never thought possible. I don't know exactly when it happened but what I know is that my love for you grows stronger each passing day. Knowing you is a gift, one that I hold dearer with each passing day. With you I feel safe, seen, heard and taken care of."
I'm holding my breath allowing tears to fall out as I listen to him being so open and vulnerable with me.
"In your eyes, I see my future, one that I want to spend with you. Your presence is my sanctuary, a place where I find comfort, solace and unwavering support. You are my heart in human form, my best friend and my everything.
"Please take a chance on me even when I don't deserve it? Move in with me and let me prove to you how much I mean every word?"
It takes a great deal of courage to show your vulnerable side to someone, to finally take a stand and allow yourself to trust again after being let down. I know Matthew means every word he just said. I know he's not perfect but so am I and besides life isn't about perfection so why not?
"I love you so much." I bawl as he closes his eyes. "I've loved you my whole life Matthew Waters and I never want to stop."
"Does that mean you'll move in with me then?" He asks still unsure and I nod. "I need your words baby."
"Yes, I'll move in with you." I answer him and he immediately pulls me to him, grabbing my chin and staring into my eyes. "This is the happiest day of my life." I tell him and his lips curl in that smile I love.
"So many happy days are ahead of us my love, this is only the beginning."
I bring him closer to me. "I love you."
"And I love you more." Matthew tells me before he locks our lips together. I close my eyes welcoming his kiss which I've missed and wrap my arms around his neck.
This is love! This is what life is about.
Staying close to people that feel like sunshine.
"I want nothing more than to get you in my bed and have my way with you." He says as he nibble my ear making me moan. "I live for the sound you make woman."
"Matthew." I moan as he bite a bit harder.
"Time for bed." He tells me before he stops and I groan in protest. "There'll be more of that baby. For now let's focus on you getting better."
"Sleep with me?" I scoot over allowing him space and he joins me and hold me tight.
"Thank you for believing in me and showing me what's important."
This man is in for the win tonight and I'm here for it.
"Thank you for existing." I tell him as I snuggle closer to him finding comfort only he can provide and allow sleep to come.