Loving, Mr Waters

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

MATTHEW
I'm usually confident in my words but as I sit here staring at the woman who has absolutely no idea that she holds my heart at the palms of her hands I'm more nervous than I've ever been in my life. Thando thinks highly of me I've always known that and in her eyes I'm probably the most perfect guy but today she's about to find out there's absolutely nothing perfect about me which it's scary to admit to her but very much needed especially since we're together.
"Seven years ago I met Miranda..." I start hesitating a bit but force the words out. "The first time I saw her I was on my way to the gym and there she was on the side of the road with a flat tire which I offered to fix." I say recalling our first encounter. "After I finished fixing her tire I wanted to ask her for her numbers but I couldn't seem to get the words out because of how beautiful I thought she was. I thought there's no way I can ask this woman for her numbers because she's out of my league but as soon as I was inside my car about to drive off she asked me out for dinner as a thank you for fixing her car which I didn't think twice to agreeing too. We spent the whole night talking enjoying each other's company and for the first time I fell in love which has never happened before."
I move Thando on my lap standing up needing as much space to pace as possible.
"After that day we were inseparable, spending every moment of the day with each other but about six months in our relationship things changed. I got to see little of her, when I called she wouldn't answer my calls or she would make excuses about work but something felt off and I guess I didn't want to acknowledge it at the time." I chuckle darkly recalling those days I was an idiot. "One night she called me crying asking me to fetch her at the restaurant which I did immediately. When I got there she was crying talking about her card has been declining and how embarrassing that was for her in front of people. Of course I paid her bill and took her with me to my place but when I woke up the following morning I found her crying again in my kitchen. I asked her all about it wanting to know what's really going on and she told me she lost her job and that she no longer had a place to stay because she didn't have money to pay rent.
"Of course I offered her to stay with me which was good for the for the first two weeks." I pause before continuing. "It all started slowly, her asking me for money constantly which made no sense but I gave it to her either ways. One day I offered her a job at my restaurant which she didn't want because she thought it would be embarrassing for her to work for me. She said the only way she would agree is if I make her a partner which was absurd. I didn't agree and that's when everything in our relationship changed drastically. If I refused to do something for her or give her cash she would refuse sleeping with me or stop me from touching her at all.
"Two months went by and everything collapsed right in my eyes. No matter how hard I tried it wasn't enough and because I was tired of all the fighting and losing the one person I love I finally gave in. I gave her a card let's say with enough money to last her for a very long time." I pause looking at Thando who is staring at me with sympathy. "You must think I'm stupid." I say to her as I run my hands in my hair agitated.
"Of course not." She tells me shaking her head.
"You can be honest." I scoff.
"I'm being honest." She tells me crossing her legs. "I think you were a man in love, one that loved someone wholeheartedly. Nothing about that makes you stupid. In fact it's rare but unfortunately sometimes love makes us do stupid things."
"You too good for me." I tell her kissing her forehead.
"Please, continue."
"Right." I clear my throat. "I started noticing that we only had sex when I did something for her which made me feel really grossed out because now it felt like I was paying my girlfriend to have sex with me instead of it being fun and enjoyable. I become distance no longer initiating anything. I was drained and exhausted from trying. It was like the more I looked the more I saw what I didn't want to see before. I started noticing small changes, phone calls in the middle of the night, her coming home late, going to the shower right away when she got home and plenty of stuff." My teeth clench at the memory probably making the lines of my forehead pinch. "One night I had to go on a business trip which lasted for two day and when I got home everything seemed odd.
Miranda was affectionate, no longer demanding money and somehow going back to the woman I fell in love with. I was beyond happy to have my girlfriend back and two weeks later we found out she was pregnant which made me the happiest man on Earth. I remember that day perfectly." I smile. "I remember I got home and found her taking a pregnancy test in the bathroom. The joy I felt was and still indescribable. We shared the news with my family who didn't like her one bit but irregardless were happy for us. I noticed how unhappy she was as we sat at my parents and when I asked her about it she brushed it off claiming to be over the moon with joy.
"I proposed three months later, ready get married and be a family man. I thought we were on the same page about getting married after the birth of our child but Miranda started rushing me into marrying her. She suggested we elope then have a proper wedding after the birth of our son. I thought about it and agreed wanting my son to come into the world with both of her parents married and because it felt like the right thing to do but one night ended things between us. That was the night before our wedding.
I woke up in the middle of the night needing water in the kitchen and that's when I heard her talking to someone on the phone complaining that she never wanted a child, how she's only marrying me so she can have half of my money and then she'll be aborting the child to run off with her boyfriend that she truly loves."
Everything comes back vividly as I tell Thando. I remember how shocked I was that night, how my heart broke when I heard those words coming out of the mouth of the woman I loved and was planning to marry the next following day but more than that hearing her say she was planning on aborting my child. A child I feared was not mine but that didn't matter because I've already accepted him or her as mine and formed a bond that was unbreakable.
"Matthew." Thando calls me and that's when I notice tears rolling down her face.
"I went back to bed unsure how to handle the news I just heard. I sat there for about thirty minutes before she came back and when she did I pretended to be asleep not ready to face her.
I didn't show up at the wedding the following day which made her angry and demanding answers from me which I gladly gave. But do you know what's crazy about all of this?" I look at Thando as she nods wiping her eyes. "She didn't even deny it. She told me how stupid I was to ever think she was in love with me. How all along she was pretending because of the lifestyle I provided for her." I tell her as her mouth open wide in disbelief. "I knew I had one thing to do then. I promised her ten million in cash to give birth to Trey which she gladly agreeing to. I demanded she stay with me until she gives birth and had her followed everywhere without her knowledge. I demanded she stops her relationship with her lover until she gave birth which she did with the promise of more money from me." I tell her chuckling darkly. "She did all of that without baiting an eye. For months I had to listen to her nagging about how she didn't want my son and how she couldn't wait to be free from us."
"Oh Matthew." Thando says next to me still crying.
"Baby, don't cry for me."
"How can I not? I promise to beat the shit out of her the day I see her." She tells me with determination making me laugh. "You think I'm playing?"
"No, no but I hope you'll never have to. If she's wise she will go back wherever she came from." I tell her hoping for Miranda's sake she left LA.
"She better."
"Anyway the birth of Trey finally arrived and on our way to the hospital she demanded I give her the money otherwise she would disappear with my child only to leave him on the streets. I couldn't believe the hatred she possessed but I've already spoken to my lawyers to withdraw the money which I gave it to her after she gave birth to Trey. Of course she did give birth to my son but disappeared from the face off Earth immediately. Crazy part is, I still held on the belief that if maybe she saw our son during his birth she would fall in love with him and at least try to be the mother he needs her to be but that was never the case." I vomit the words out tasting the bitterness in them.
"I can't ever imagine the pain and suffering you've endured in your relationship. I'm sorry you had to go through all of those things alone." Thando tells me, her words managing to form a lump at the back of my throat and before I know it I feel my eyes watering instantly.
I haven't cried in years but right there I allow my walls to crumple as tears I've refused to shed for years falls out of my eyes like they've been waiting to come out for years.