Loving, Mr Waters

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

THANDO
I finally stand up rearranging my dress as I continue to look at my broken man who's looking like he's just seen a ghost.
"I do realize what just happened but if you at least try to hear me out you'd stop panicking this much." I tell him but it's like I'm talking to the wall.
"I'm not ready for a child Thando and I know very well you're not ready for such big responsibility." He tells me looking at me in disbelief. "Why the hell are you not panicking?"
My anger rise as more tears build at the back of my eyes but I don't allow myself to cry as I look at at him.
"Because I'm on the freaking pill Matthew." I explode stopping him from talking. "I'm not Miranda Matthew and it pains me that you think I'm anything like her." I say this time allowing my tears to come out.
"That's..." He struggles for words. "That's not true."
"It is. My God, if only you could see yourself right now. It kills me that you think I'm not responsible enough to care for a child."
"I don't want a child Thando, I'm not ready for one."
"And I never said I wanted a child right now." I tell him firmly trying not shout. "But let me state the obvious Mr Waters. When two people have sex, protected or not there's always a chance of a woman getting pregnant and if that we're to ever happen rest assure that I'd never in my wildest dreams dream of abandoning my own child."
"Fuck." He he looks at me. "I know that."
"Clearly not. I understand your past and everything Matthew but what I don't understand is why do you keep letting it win." I shake my head. 
Pain at how he's just looking at me lost and not saying anything when I need him to at least reassure.
"I'm just gonna go." I tell him walking to the door but don't get far when his hand hold my wrist his eyes teary. "Don't, please. I promise I'm trying."
I thought I knew Matthew but as I stand here looking at him I realize that I know little and it pains me to see him going through his demons like this.
"You said you'd be patient with me. You promised." He reminds me, his eyes pleading with me.
"I know and that still remains true." I tell him honestly.
"Then stay, please." He begs. "I'm really sorry for what I said and panicking so much. I just got scared there for a minute and lost it. I'd never dream of comparing you to Miranda baby, please believe me."
I look at him at him allowing my heart to decide for me once again when it comes to him. I truly believe that Matthew can fight his demons but until when am I willing to be patient is a question that still remain unanswered.
"Alright I'll stay but.." I say holding up my finger. "Promise me that nothing like this will ever happen again."
"I promise." He takes me into his arms kissing my hair. "How about we call it a night?"
"I totally agree." We both blow the candles then walk upstairs hand in hand.
We're done showering now in bed when Matthew speaks. "I'm really sorry for ruining our night."
"I forgive you." I tell him.
And I really do forgive him. Not only because I love him but because I fully understand that what just happened brought back his fears.
"Sleep tight baby." He kiss me then cuddle me and before I know it he's sleeping soundly next to me while I sit there watching him.
It seem my dislike for Miranda grows daily. As much as I try to understand I fail to understand how she just abandon these two incredible humans. I say my quick prayer before bed asking God to heal Matthew's so he can one day fully allow me in and love me as much as I love him.

I wake up the following day my heart racing hearing the noise coming downstairs. I try making out who's voices are talking but only hear Matthew's and a woman's voice I don't recognize. I quickly put on Matthew's pants and top and walk downstairs. I reach the stairs and see a woman holding her hips shouting at a half-naked Matthew and I want nothing than to give him a t-shirt so his six pack aren't in display for the world to see.
"What do you mean I'm not allowed to come here? My son stays here for Christ sake."
"Miranda, I'm not going to have this conversation with you again. Turn your ass around and go back where you came from." Matthew says the words calmly but Miranda is not having it. I take in the woman I saw occasionally who's wearing very tight jeans and shirt that puts her cleavage on display and high heels. Everything about her is in place and I can't help feeling jealous that she still unawarely own Matthew's heart.
"I'll leave after I see my son." She tells him then shout. "My boy, mommy is here. Come down and greet your mom."
Matthew quickly put his hand over her mouth stoping her from shouting.
"Don't test me. The only reason I'm not connecting you to that wall is because you're a woman."
"Why are you fighting the inevitable? We both know that we all belong together. I promise I'm back forever this time. Just give us a chance to be a family and you'll be reminded of how good we're together." She tries kissing him but he moves.
What the fuck, bitch?
"You had your chance. I'm not interested in you Miranda let alone build a family with you."
"Is there someone else? But more importantly does she know that your heart only belongs to me?" She says cocky and I listen closely wanting to hear what Matthew's answer.
Please say yes and that you're in love.
"That's none of your business." He says.
Fuck, that hurts. Couldn't he at least admitted that he's in a relationship?
She smirks. "You'll always belong to me. No one can ever love you like me."
She says those word with confidence and if I didn't love Matthew as much as I do I'd have believed her. 
Bitch, how desperate are you to resort to such low standards?
"You know nothing about love. You've proven that time and again. And maybe you're right, maybe I did belong to you for some time and that truly fucked me up but right now as I stand here I can tell you with confidence that I'm trying my hardest to open up my heart to someone who really deserves it and that I certainly don't belong to you."
Everything stops as I listen to him standing up for himself and saying all these words. I make a decision then that it's okay that Matthew haven't said the three words yet. For now it's enough that he's trying and willing to let me in his heart.
"Who the hell is she? I demand her name right now." Miranda lose it and as if she can sense me our eyes connect as she finds me standing by the stairs. I stand there not moving looking at her. Her eyes watch me closely as if she's trying to remember where she knows me from.
She gives me a disgusted look then turns back to Matthew. "Good God, is this her? She sure looks like teenager."
BITCH.
She points at me. "You look familiar." Then turns her attention back at Matthew. "Since when are you into underage girls Matthew?"
I'm about to say something when we all hear Treys yelling upstairs. "Daddy, where are you?"
My eyes find Matthew who's on the verge of having a panic attack and without thinking I run upstairs and come face to face with Trey rubbing his sleepy eyes.
"Good morning Auntie Thando."
"Good morning sweetheart, how did you sleep?" I hug him. "Did you brush your teeth yet?"
He giggles. "I haven't answered the first question yet."
I smile impressed. " Oh, my bad. Please go ahead."
"I slept like a baby and no I haven't brushed my teeth yet."
I laugh at how cute he is fixing his hair that's all over his cute faces.
Like a baby, he says.
"Where's my dad?" He looks around.
"Probably making us breakfast. How about in the meantime you brush your teeth while I make your bed then we can go and find him?"
He nods taking my hand in his and together we walk back to his room.
I just hope by the time we get done Matthew will be rid of Miranda.