SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL, J.HUGHES

FORTY ONE

"Are you fucking serious," Juliette puts her hand over her mouth. I hand her my little finger towards her nodding at everything I just told her. Everything that just happened in my life lately. "I swear."

I take the fruit bowl in my hands, the colorful array of apples and oranges offering a stark contrast to the heavy conversation. Walking over to the table, I place the bowl in the center, trying to create a sense of normalcy. Juliette's eyes follow me, her gaze intense as I move between the kitchen and the dining area.

I mean, a lot has happened since I last saw her, and she needs to know everything. My sister is growing, and I can see her becoming a woman. Since she started college, she looks like a new person, and I'm so happy we can bond this way now.

But I want her to be my confidant. My best friend. And that's why she needs to know everything.

I hold her hands and peek my head into the living room to make sure no one is coming.

"You need to tell me how it looks," I whisper, my voice trembling slightly.

I put my long blonde curl aside on the left and, with my finger, I try to find it. I can see her eyes widen when she realizes what I'm talking about. "How long has it been?" she asks, her finger gently tracing down my neck, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"I'm not quite sure," I reply, my voice barely audible.

"At first, I thought Jack gave me a hickey, and Lord, I was mad. But then, it wasn't going away, and I thought it was a pimple." I sigh, putting my hair back in place to cover it. "But it's not going away. I think I have a clue, but I don't want to believe it."

Juliette's eyes search mine, trying to understand.

I swallow hard, my throat dry. "I think... I think it might be something more serious. But it's okay, I have an appointment with a doctor on Tuesday," I say, turning back to the oven. I didn't plan to turn this whole conversation dark, but I had to tell someone. Tell someone because I haven't told anyone yet, not even Jack.

Juliette stands in stunned silence for a moment, processing what I've just shared. Then she steps closer, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Why haven't you told Jack?" she asks softly.

"I don't know," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. "I guess I didn't want to worry him until I knew for sure. And maybe... maybe I was just scared."

Juliette's eyes soften with understanding. "It's okay to be scared," she says gently. "But you don't have to go through this alone. We're all here for you."

"It's not that I want to keep all of this away from him," I say, my voice wavering. "But lately, I haven't had the chance to have a serious conversation with him since he's always out of town with his hockey and everything. I mean, I don't even think he's seen it—the mark on my neck. It's really little, but since I had my first battle with this kind of mark, I can't miss it when I see one. I know my body by heart, and I have the feeling that something is wrong."

Juliette looks at me, her concern evident. "You have to tell him," she insists. "He needs to know what's going on with you, even if it's just over the phone."

"I know," I reply, feeling a pang of guilt. "I just don't want to burden him. He's got so much on his plate already."

"You're not a burden," she says firmly. "You're his partner. He would want to be there for you, just like you would for him."

I nod, knowing she's right. "I'll tell him," I promise. "After the doctor's appointment, once I know for sure."

I try to sound hopeful when I tell Juliette about my doctor's appointment next Tuesday. It's scary, but I have to talk about it with someone. But there's a fear I haven't admitted out loud. I'm scared to tell him because I'm afraid he'll leave me, like he did before. I can handle this on my own, but facing it alone and heartbroken—it feels unbearable.