We found us | Book 1

How do you know?

Evi:
Bill enters the bathroom. I look at him briefly and then look away shyly.
"Everything okay?" He stands next to me and puts his hand on my lower back.
"Uhu, everything okay." I say almost inaudible and stare at my hands resting on the sink.
"I thought you wanted to-"
"Yes!" I interrupt him and look at him through the mirror.
I feel myself turning red and turn to him.
He gently caresses my cheek and presses his lips on mine. I wrap my arms tightly around him and pull him closer to me.
Way to quickly for my liking, Bill stops the kiss and strokes my cheek with his thumb.
"Do you want to stay here or you wanna go home?"
I shrug my shoulders. "I want to stay with you, wherever that is."
I press my body against his and bury my face in his neck.
Bill gently strokes my lower back and I suddenly realize I don't have any clothes on, besides his hoodie, and let go of him.
"I'm going to put on some clothes." I leave the bathroom, head towards his bedroom and turn bright red when I bump into Tom in the hallway.
He looks at me with a big grin on his face and I subtly pull the hoodie down a little further.
I walk as quickly as I can, enter his bedroom and quickly put on my panties. Bill appears in the bedroom and closes the door behind him.
"I think Tom heard us." I whisper.
"I think he mainly heard you."
Bill looks at me with a small grin and I look at him with my eyes wide open. I feel myself turning bright red, again.
"Oh my god." A feeling of shame rushes through my body and I look at Bill desperately.
"You don't wanna know how many times I've heard Tom." Bill tries to reassure me and walks my way. "It will be forgotten by tomorrow."
A sigh leaves my mouth. "I don't think so, but okay."
Bill wraps his arms around me and I press my body close to his.
"I'm going to miss you when you're on tour."
I sigh and entangle the fingers of one hand with his while I gently stroke his back with my other hand. My gaze is fixed on our entangled fingers.
"I'm going to miss you too, very much."
He places his hand on my cheek, which makes me look at him, and presses his lips on mine. I close my eyes and open my mouth willingly when his tongue slides over my lips.

I wake up to the sun warming the skin of my face. I turn around and slowly open my eyes.
I see a sleeping Bill next to me and I immediately get a smile on my face. I lay myself against him and close my eyes again.
I gently stroke his back and press a small kiss on his lips. I feel him kissing me back and I open my eyes, only to immediately close them again and press my lips to his again.
"BILL!!" Tom yells from downstairs, interrupting our moment. "We almost have to leave!"
I sigh in disappointment and open my eyes.
"What time will you be back?"
"No idea." Bill sighs and straightens himself a little. "I hope around 5pm at the latest."
I get up from the bed and start collecting my clothes, which are still on the floor.
Lastly, I pick up my bra from the floor and immediately feel myself turning red. I look at Bill for a moment but immediately look away. Bill comes over to me and presses his lips briefly on me cheek.
"I'm going to take a quick shower." He presses a little kiss on my lips and walks out of the room.
I quickly put on my clothes, put his t-shirt on the bed and walk out of the room. I walk downstairs, open the front door and go outside.
I walk into my house through the front door and quickly run upstairs.
I lay myself on the bed, take my phone out of my bag and call Kim.
"Hi, Evi"
"Hi Kim, everything okay?"
"All good, you?"
"Not sure.."
"How so?"
"Uhm," I look for the right words and then continue. "Bill.."
"What, Bill?"
"Are you in a fight?" Kim asks when I remain quiet.
"No.."
"Evi, just say what you want to say." She says a little irritated.
"We, uhm, we went third base yesterday.."
"As in you guys had sex?"
"No, not sex.."
"Okay.." I can hear the confusion in her voice.
"I don't know. It felt good and it seemed like the right time but-"
"But what?"
"The good feeling I had yesterday, is gone now. I just ran away while Bill was taking a shower. I just don't know how to behave."
"You're overthinking again. You just have to behave the same as before."
A sigh leaves my mouth. "Yes.."
"But so, what exactly did you guys do?"
"With our mouths.." I say somewhat hesitantly.
"First he tried his finger, but that didn't work very well."
"What didn't work?"
"Didn't it hurt with you? The first time..."
"I've been using tampons since I was thirteen." Kim says. "Don't you wear tampons?"
"No.."
I was hoping that talking to Kim would make me feel better, but it's just the opposite. If I didn't feel abnormal before, I certainly feel that way right now.
"I tried a tampon once, but it didn't fit or something..."
"Believe me, it fits." Kim says with a small laugh.
I feel tears welling up and I don't feel like talking about the whole situation anymore.
"My mom is calling, I'll call you later, okay?" Before she can properly answer, I shut off the phone and throw it on the bed next to me.
I let my tears flow and bury my face in my hands.

A knock on the door startles me and I quickly wipe away my tears.
"Yes?"
The door opens and my brother comes in.
"Mom wants to know if you'll eat dinner with us tonight."
"I think so, yes."
"Did you cry?"
Of course he had to notice.
"What happened?"
"Nothing really.. Just a bad day."
He looks at me intently and I fix my gaze on my hands.
"Is everything okay between you and Bill? Did he do something?"
I shake my head. "No, really. I'm just having a bad day. With Bill leaving on tour in a few days and everything."
I look at my brother and put a small smile on my face.
"He'll be back, right?"
I nod. "Yes, but that doesn't make it any easier for now."
He looks at me for a moment and then shakes his head. "But you will eat with us tonight?"
I nod and when he turns to walk away I say his name: "Nick?"
He turns back to me. "You've had sex before, right?"
He looks at me with a big frown on his face and crosses his arms. "Yes."
"How did you know you were ready?"
I see an uncomfortable look on his face that quickly turns into a worried look.
"He doesn't force you to do anything, does he?"
I shake my head quickly. "No, but how do I know if I'm ready myself?"
Nick looks at me with a small grin on his face.
"If you have to ask that, you are not ready."
He turns around and walks away, closing the door behind him.
Okay, so that also didn't help much, I think to myself.
A big sigh leaves my mouth. Kim and Nick are clearly not the right people to talk to about this, but who else can I talk to?
I think for a moment and then decide to call Alicia.