Obsessed | Jude Bellingham

25.

Bianca Dawson
Foul?
•••

I woke up at least an hour before my usual time. I felt an overwhelming need to clear my head, so I decided to go for a jog. I didn't wait for Jude; I needed to be alone with my thoughts. The fresh morning air and the l sound of my feet hitting the pavement sometimes helped me think more clearly.

I hadn't heard anything from Linda, and it was making me uneasy.  What we had done, rather what I have done wouldn't get me foul, a yellow card, or a red card I would be given a lifetime ban never to return to the pitch.

But did I feel guilty? No. I just wanted things to go according to my plan, and sometimes that meant taking risks and pushing boundaries. The silence from Linda was unnerving, but I couldn't afford to let it rattle me now.

As the wind hit my face during my jog, I kept replaying everything in my head. I had calculated every move, every possible outcome. But now, as I tried to clear my thoughts, the fear of having miscalculated choked me. I went an extra mile, hoping the physical exertion would exhaust my anxiety. It worked, to a point.

Returning to the house, I headed straight to the kitchen. The sight of the counter made my heart flutter, and my stomach churned as memories from the previous night flooded back. I busied myself with making a shake, hoping the routine would calm me. I needed the distraction.

As I gathered the ingredients, I kept thinking about how I would clean up my mess if there was one. Linda's silence was like a ticking time bomb, and I needed to be ready for whatever might come. I blended the shake, the noise filling the silence in the kitchen and giving me a moment to gather my thoughts.

I poured the shake into a glass and took a long sip, savouring the cold, refreshing taste. My mind kept wandering back to the same place: I couldn't afford any mistakes. I had to make sure everything went according to my plan. There was too much at stake.

I had to trust that everything would work out. I couldn't let fear or doubt derail me now.

As I stood there, taking a deep breath, I heard Jude enter the kitchen. He noticed I was drenched from my jog. "You went without me?" he asked, a bit surprised.

"Yeah," I replied, trying to sound nonchalant. "I had a little frustration built up that I had to release."

"What kind? Sexual?" he said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "No, not that kind. Just... stress."

Jude's expression softened, and he walked over to me. "Is everything good between us?"

"Everything's perfect," I assured him. "Really."

He seemed relieved and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling out his phone. I grabbed mine as well, trying to distract myself. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as his brow furrowed while he looked at his screen.

"What's wrong?" I asked, a sinking feeling forming in my stomach.

"It's Lana," he replied, his voice tense. "She has time to post that she arrived in Milan but not respond to my messages, answer any of my calls or call me?"

It blew my mind how he could just snap back, how he was so on her like his dick wasn't at the back of my throat less than 24 hours ago. I remained calm as I listened.

"It's just not like her" He said looking at me. I could see the concern in his face.

I felt my heart sink. Lana again. She always managed to intrude on my peace, even when she wasn't around. "Maybe she's just busy, I don't know she'll get around to it," I suggested, trying to keep my tone light. "You know how these things can be."