Obsessed | Jude Bellingham

34.

Bianca Dawson
Two birds one stone.
•••

The moment I was back, a wonderful time spent with Jude further pushed me to do the right thing. I sat in the plush waiting room, my hands twisting in my lap. The room was tastefully decorated, with soft, cream-colored walls and elegant furniture that hinted at how expensive this place was. A large window let in natural light, casting a warm glow on the polished hardwood floors. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. Junior was right; I needed to be here, but that didn't make it any easier.

The receptionist with a kind smile called my name. "Ms. Dawson, Dr. Langston is ready for you."

I stood up, smoothing my skirt nervously as I walked toward the office door. The hallway was lined with framed diplomas and certificates, each one reflecting Dr. Langston's expertise. I entered the office, noting the tasteful decor—bookshelves filled with medical texts and a large mahogany desk that dominated the room. The soft lighting and comfortable chairs added to the serene atmosphere.

Dr. Langston, a middle-aged man with salt-and-pepper hair and a warm demeanor, stood up to greet me. "Hello, Bianca. It's nice to finally meet you. Junior has spoken highly of you."

"Hi," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper as I took a seat in one of the plush chairs.

Dr. Langston sat down opposite me, his gaze gentle and attentive. "I've had a chance to review your medical files. Junior sent them over with your permission. How are you feeling today?"

I hesitated, feeling a lump form in my throat. "I... I don't know. Nervous, I guess."

"That's completely understandable," Dr. Langston said, his tone reassuring. "This is a safe space, Bianca. You can tell me anything."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I struggled to find the right words. "I don't want to be like this anymore. I hate it. I finally found someone I love, and I'm so scared I'll lose him because of... because of my illness."

Dr. Langston leaned forward slightly, his expression compassionate. "It's okay to feel scared, Bianca. Bipolar disorder and schizophrenia can be challenging, but they don't define you. There are ways to manage these conditions, and I'm here to help you with that."

I wiped away a tear that had escaped down my cheek. "But what if it's not enough? What if I do something stupid, I can't lose him"

"Relationships can be difficult for anyone, but with the right support and treatment, you can lead a fulfilling life and maintain healthy relationships," Dr. Langston said. "It's important to communicate openly with your partner about your feelings and what you're going through. Have you been able to do that with him?"

I shook my head. "Not really. I've been too afraid. What if he thinks I'm broken or too much to handle?"

"Being open about your struggles can be daunting, but it's also essential for building trust and understanding," Dr. Langston advised. "I'm sure your partner cares about you a lot. Giving him the chance to understand what you're dealing with could strengthen your relationship."

My tears flowed more freely now. "I just want to be normal. I don't want to keep feeling like I'm on the edge all the time."

Dr. Langston handed me a box of tissues. "I know it's hard, but remember that you're not alone. Many people live with these conditions and still find happiness and love. Therapy, medication, and a strong support system can make a significant difference."

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "I just... I want to believe that."

"It will take time and effort, but it's possible," Dr. Langston assured me. "We can work together to create a treatment plan that suits your needs and helps you manage your symptoms more effectively. Have you been consistent with your medication?"