Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko habang nakapikit at dinama ang kanyang mga yakap. Rinig na rinig sa tahimik kong apartment ang kanyang marahang paghinga. Kalmado naman siya pero ramdam na ramdam ko ang mabilis at tila nagwawalang pintig ng puso niya.
I am now sitting on the couch, my back leaning against his chest. Naka-akbay sa akin ang isa niyang kamay samantalang ang isa ay nakapatong sa arm ng couch. Ang mga kamay ko naman ay nasa ibabaw ng mga hita ko.
Nawala na ang antok ko. My head is filled with thoughts of Roilan even though we’re together right now. All I think about is his sudden confession...
He loved me… years ago when we were still together. Minahal niya ako… And he still loves me even though we’ve been apart for six years.
Sa maikling sandaling iyon na nagkasama kami, minahal niya ako? Is that even possible? Did he really love me that time? And I wonder how he dealt with his feelings when he found out I was gone and would probably never come back.
It’s been six years. How could he say that he still loves me? Didn’t he meet other women within those years? He’s a beautiful man. He’s wealthy and kind. He’s a Siverio. Maraming nagkakagusto sa kanya. At ngayong mas nagmatured siya at mas gumwapo, paniguradong mas marami ang nagkakagusto sa kanya. One of those was Engineer Klea Mancilla and probably Sharmel Castro, the mayor’s daughter here in Cebu. Isama pa si Claire Fernandez na obvious din na may gusto sa kanya.
Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako, o ano. Ang akala ko, gusto niya lang ako. Never have I ever thought that Roilan Siverio will fall in love with me. Confessing his feelings for me was something I did not expect.
But I still want to know… why Engineer Mancilla was in his apartment?
“Do you wanna talk about it?” he whispered, slow and gentle.
His voice is like a wind, whispering softly in my ears. Parang may kung ano sa marahan niyang boses na pinapakalma ang buong sistema ko.
“Alin?” bulong ko rin pabalik habang nakapikit.
“Whatever is in your head. The things that bother you. The reason why you cried… Tell me about it… I will listen to you…”
Ilang sandali akong nakapikit, dinadama ang sandaling ito. Para akong nakalutang sa mga ulap, magaan na ang pakiramdam. Ang kanyang presensya ay sapat na para mapakalma ang kung ano mang mga bagay ang gumugulo sa aking isipan.
“Did you really love me?” I asked him in a calmer tone after seconds of thinking if I should ask him that.
Ilang segundo ang lumipas bago siya nakasagot, “I liked you the first time I saw you… And I… realized I’m in love with you the moment I made love with you…” he answered in a slow tone.
Ngumuso ako, naalala ang nangyari noon. But I left him the day after, though.
“And you still love me? Even when I left you after fucking you?”
He groaned at my vulgarity. “That’s making love,” pagalit niyang sabi.
I rolled my eyes while smiling. “So, you still love me nga even when I left you? Kahit ilang taon na ang lumipas, mahal mo pa rin ako? You’re serious?”
Should I believe in him? Should I believe in his words? How would I know if he’s really telling the truth? But come on, Elvira, you know he’s not just like the other boys. He isn’t the type who will shower you with flowery words. He’s a mature man.
He pulled me closer to him, so close that all I could feel was his warmth and his scent enveloping me. Ang kanyang mainit na braso at palad ay sinasakop na ang aking tiyan. Napahawak ako sa braso niya.
