The Phantom Wolf

Chapter 52 (A Choice)

*3rd Person POV*

After Emmet had joined in with Jasper's training session, all of the structure went out the window. Jasper attempted to keep giving Pearl pointers, but eventually conceded when he realised that Pearl was no longer listening. As she was too focused on her competitive nature, driving her to defeat Emmet and have him beg for mercy.

Jasper took part in Emmet's and Pearl's play fight for a while, until he decided to leave them to it and rejoin his mate inside the house.

The fight with Emmet lasted well into the night. Having spent all her time recovering from her injuries the previous days, Pearl was relishing the opportunity to have a good wrestle with her self-proclaimed vampire big brother.

The two of them would have continued for days if they could have. Nevertheless, after 6 long hours, Rosalie came back outside to put an end to it, and separate the two.

Emmet chose to accompany Rosalie on a much needed hunt and get some special alone time with just the two of them.

Whilst Pearl, retreated back inside the house. Her exhaustion from the last few days events, finally catching up with her.

*Pearl's POV*

'Damn I'm tired. Can't say that it doesn't feel amazing though. I almost forgot what it felt like, to move without pain.' I thought.

I sat down on the living room couch to take a breather for a while. I was tired but, not downright exhausted. I could certainly make the trip back to my cave without issue, to get some rest.

Thinking it over, I started to wonder. 'Do I even need to go back to my cave? I mean, I've slept here, and nothing bad ever happened. I clearly don't need to fear them whilst I'm in a vulnerable state. In fact, everyone's company is kind of comforting...'

'I mean... these guys stayed by my side and helped me when I was injured. They didn't exactly have any obligation to do that. And they didn't just do the bear minimum either. They helped me with a lot of things, even that stupid bath... why did they do that? What could they possibly have to gain from helping me?' I thought.

With everything that had happened after Bella and Edward got married, the thought of joining the Olympic Coven had entirely slipped my mind. But, after my internal questions, their offer, was all I could think about.

I hadn't yet given them an answer. It's not like I really had a chance to, with everything that went on, but... I guess, I should've thought more about it.

'Why haven't I given them my answer yet? What even is my answer? What should it be? If I join, I more or less get to be with them forever. And that includes being with Bree, so that's definitely a positive. On the other hand, forever is a long time. My own family got sick of me after 16 years. Whose to say the Cullens won't at some point in time, get fed up with me to?'

'I don't want to be rejected again. I don't think I can take it.'

'But... then again... my biological family and the Cullens are very different. Getting sick or injured back on the res, I was always told to just deal with it myself. Even with my mum being a nurse, she... didn't see me as... worth her time. But these guys... they went above and beyond for me. Even helping me with the most mundane tasks while I was incapacitated. They didn't have to do that. But... they still did.'

'Is that how... real love, is shown?' I cautiously started to wonder.

'Does that mean that Esme was telling the truth back then? They really care about me?' I thought, feeling slightly more hopeful.

'I know that I care about them. Didn't think it was possible, but, I really do. If my automatic actions to defend Edward is anything to go by. When I'm with these guys, it almost feels like... their my family.' I realised with a start.

'Back at Sam's place, I called the vampire clan my family. I did that unconsciously. At the time, I didn't think anything of it. But now...'

'I knew. Even if I hadn't realised it yet. Deep down, I knew that the Cullens had become my family.' A small smile grew on my face at the thought. Before it was overtaken be a frown. 'So, what's holding me back? Why can't I make a permanent home with them? What's stopping me?' I questioned.

*3rd Person POV*

In the moments that followed, Pearl's questions lead her to Bree. Bree had decided to join the Olympic Coven, regardless of her past experiences. She took that leap of faith and trusted that everything would work out. Even though, she had barely known them for a month. She had put her trust on the line, even with the high chance of getting hurt, she had still done it.

Thinking about Bree, Pearl couldn't help but appreciate just how brave her imprint is. Bree, is strong. And right now, Pearl felt anything but that.

'I want to be brave.' Pearl thought. 'I want to be able to let others in... I don't want to be alone anymore.' She decided.

Making her decision, Pearl was faced with a new issue. 'How on earth do I tell them?' She internally started panicking.

Staring off into space while sitting on the couch, Pearl contemplated what she was going to do. Thinking about herself and her feelings was hard enough. It took her such a long time, just to recognise what she was feeling. Talking about those emotions? They may as well just kill her now.

No one's ever wanted to listen to her inner thoughts in the past, so, Pearl never had to find her voice. Gaining the strength to ask for help, was something she had never learnt to do. So, speaking out about her true feelings, was never necessary.

But, that didn't mean she kept everything bottled up. The skills she lacked in conversation, were balanced out by her love for writing. It's why she used to keep a diary. Even though no one other than herself was going to read it, putting her thoughts and feelings on the paper, helped her feel like someone was listening. Like someone, wanted to listen. Writing, made her feel better.

Finally coming to the realisation that there was a way to tell them about her true feelings without messing it up through a conversation, Pearl got up from the couch and went to the kitchen. Grabbing a pen and a notepad, she left the house and wandered deep into the forest. Pearl made sure to retreat far enough away to be absolutely certain, that she wouldn't be disturbed.

Sitting down on a fallen tree's trunk, Pearl started writing a letter. A letter addressed to the Cullen's.