i refuse to sink.

chapter fourty-two.

Harry POV

"I know mum," I sighed "what do you expect me to do? I can't just rewind time."

"Harry, you just need to be there for her, and I know, I know you are." My mom said quietly into the phone. I rubbed my eyes and sighed.

"She hasn't moved since we got home, she just sits there staring off into space." I close my eyes to stop the tears.

"Harry, you know she went through a lot before this, she was just getting better and then this happened. And its only been a week." My mom said.

"I haven't seen her cry though, or eat, or sleep. She just talks to herself and sits up doing nothing. She doesn't even get up to go to the bathroom, and doesn't make eye contact." I cry to my mum.

"Have you tried moving her from the couch?"

"Yeah, she slapped me and screamed at me to not touch her. Its like she is possessed. And its terrifying." I sigh. I run my hand through my hair as my mom suggest things for me to do.

"Would you like me to come over?" My mom offered.

"Yes," I whispered "Please mum, it might not mean anything to Morgan, but it would mean a lot to me."

"Okay dear, let me go and pack, okay? I love you baby."

"Love you too mum." I whisper and hang up. I rest my elbows on my knees, and put my head in my hands. I try to stop the tears, but it doesn't work. I lost my baby girl. We found out that if Morgan had given birth, it would have been to a beautiful little girl. I think finding that out was the worst, knowing that we would have named her Darcy, and watched her grow older day by day.

I heard a noise from upstairs. Morgan was the only one upstairs. I stood up and quietly walked upstairs. I heard what I haven't in a week. Cries. It wasn't coming from our bedroom, but the nursery.

"I'm sorry." She screamed. I heard a crash and I ran into the room. She was kicking, throwing everything that had been ready for the baby. I ran over to her and grabbed her waist and dragged her down to the ground onto my lap.

"Shhh, baby it will get better. Let it out." I rubbed her back as sobs over took her body. She curled into my chest and cried while I rubbed her back. "There there." I soothed when the crying settled down.

"I'm sorry." She whispered looking up at me. I shook my head and placed a light kiss to her plump lips.

"Stop apologizing baby, okay? It was not your fault, you couldn't have done anything differently to stop this from happening, so stop blaming yourself, understand?" I asked her quietly. She closed her eyes and nodded. "I love you Morgan, no matter what."

"I love you." I heard her mumble into my neck. Those are the first words she said other than 'sorry'. I smiled slightly at progress, and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

*****

"Hi honey." My mom whispered and gave Morgan a hug. I rubbed Morgans back as she cried into my moms shoulder. My mom peeked up and frowned, I saw the tears brimming in her eyes. I sighed and shook my head. "Come on darling, lets go take a seat, okay?" Morgan nodded and took my hand and led me to the couch. She sat on my lap, head in my neck.

"Morgan?" My mom said. Morgan looked up at my mom. "I know its hard, losing someone is really hard. You need to be strong, you have a little angel above you two watching over you, let her help you get better baby." My mom whispered and took her hand.

"I know." Morgan cried. "It's so hard, I know its not my fault, but I feel like it is."

"Babe, it wasn't your fault." I whispered. My mom nodded and kissed her hand.

"She would have been perfect." Morgan whispered. I closed my eyes and rested my head on her back.

"Yes, but she obviously had a reason to be up there baby. You can try again, this doesn't mean you cant have kids. Just think when you have a little girl, she will have a little sister up there watching over her. You can always try again darling." My mom encouraged. I never thought my mom would encourage me to have more sex.

"Okay." Morgan nodded. She rested her head on my chest and closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. I took her hand in mine and rubbed circles with my thumb, something I learned that soothed her.

She was slowly starting to get better, I knew she would never fully recover, neither would I. But it was progress.

And progress was perfect.