i refuse to sink.

chapter fourty-six.

"Simon said he still has to go." I sighed to the boys.

"Are you serious? Look at the state he is in." Liam snapped.

Last night was rough. After Harry settled down, he ran inside and grabbed as much alcohol as he could. It is now two in the afternoon, and no word of Harry. We can hear him crying, occasionally him throwing something. He won't let us in either.

"Babe, lets go outside." Zayn grabbed Toris hand and lead her outside. We called Tori last night, she hasn't stopped crying either. Her best friend that she has known her whole life is gone, without a single hint to where she is. Tori hiccupped and walked outside with Zayn.

"Go talk to him Lou, we will be outside." Niall patted my back and followed Zayn and Tori.

"We have four hours until we have to go to Avery's, so remind Harry." Liam sighed and walked out. I took a deep breath and stood up from the couch. As I was walking up the stairs I could hear his cries."

I knocked at the door, "Harry, let me in."

"No." He choked out.

"Please, Harry. I want to help you. Its only me, everyone else is gone." I said. I hear shuffling around then the door swung open. I covered my nose from the smell.

Harry was lying on the bed. One of Morgans t-shirt was tightly secured in his hand. I sighed and walked over to him, getting use to the smell. It reeked of alcohol and smoke.

"Have you been smokng?" I asked carefully. Harrys bloodshot eyes looked at me and he nodded. I sighed and sat down next to him. "Don't do that to yourself, don't hurt yourself over this."

"How can I not Lou?" Harry shouted making me flinch. "It is all my fault, if Faye hadn't come over, she wouldn't have left."

What I said next I was trying to be as careful as I could, "She was going to leave you either way Harry. It wasn't because of Faye last night, she planned it a while ago."

"How do you know that? Did you help her leave me?" Harry spat.

"I called Rita, last week she came home crying, and packed some things in a suitcase. Basically everything, but Rita thought it was for the New York trip, but it wasn't." I sighed. Harrys face dropped.

"So she has been lying to me this past week? Saying that she loved me? That she would never leave me?" Harry whispered.

"Harry," I pleaded "I don't think she had a choice, you could tell by looking at her, she needed to get away. Its not you Harry, that miscarriage destroyed her."

"She said she was fine though." Harry cried.

"Well then that's where she lied, she wasn't fine Harry. I know you could see it, you frowned whenever someone mentioned her name, because you knew she wasn't getting better, you knew all along." I sighed.

Harry nodded and wiped away the tears with the shirt.

"Harry," I grabbed his attention, "We still have to go to Averys dinner tonight, you have to come too. I tried asking Simon, but you need to go. He wants a picture of her with us, showing what we did to help her."

"We didn't save her Lou, Morgan did." Harry whispered looking up at me.

"I know." I whispered and patted his back. "Get ready."

Harry nodded and stood up from the bed, and walked into the bathroom.

****

Harrys POV

I wiped the tears from my eyes as we pulled into Averys driveway. The boys all gave me a sad smile and hopped out of the car.

"You'll be fine mate." Niall lied to me. I got out of the car and followed the boys to the door. I was a wreck, an emotional wreck.