Marriage #2: My Bodyguard [Ongoing]

MB 27

“I told you I saw him. I wouldn't tell you that if I'm not sure."

My heart raced as I clutched the phone in my trembling hands, my eyes fixed on the picture Liz had sent in the group chat. In the picture, there are two people.

Saij and the unfamiliar girl embraced each other tightly, their smiles beaming with happiness as they basked in each other's arms. Mukhang masaya si Saij habang yakap ang babae at ganoon din naman ito sa kaniya.

“I took a picture of them, nakalimutan ko lang ipakita sa inyo noong gabi na nasa club tayo," Liz added. “After that hug, they kissed. Sabi ko naman sa inyo totoo talaga ang nakita ko."

Kasabay ng panginginig ng nga kamay ko ay ang panginginig ng labi ko at panunubig ng mga mata. I don't know how I should feel. I am hurt and afraid. Maybe, he's not really for me and I'm not really for him.

Maybe God just sent him to me to make me realize many things. To bring a little light into my life after I had been stuck in darkness. To help me understand that there was an unexplored journey waiting for me to embark upon.

But after all, we are not meant for each other. And everything between us is only temporary.

Nang tumulong tuluyan ang luha ko ay mabilis ko itong pinahid. Pinigilan ko rin ang sarili ko na mapahikbi at gumawa ng ingay.

When I looked at Saij's picture again, he was really happy while hugging the girl. His face was bright because of the smile drawn on his lips, and his eyes seemed to be shining.

“In fairness, ang ganda ni girl," ani Cassy. “They look good together," she added as she smiled sweetly as if she was very impressed.

The words I heard pierced through me like a sudden, sharp arrow striking my heart.

Do they look good together?

Napaisip tuloy ako kung anong itsura naming dalawa kapag kami ang magkasama.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself because my chest was getting heavy. Hindi ko na lolokohin pa ang sarili ko dahil malinaw ang sinasabi ng larawan.

“I still can't believe..." it was Lucy. “He is good at hiding his personal life. Sinong mag-aakala na may girlfriend pala siya? Samantalang bodyguard siya ng isang babae tapos magkasama pa sila sa isang bahay."

I can't speak, I lost my voice and I can't find it.

“Baka understanding lang talaga ’yong girlfriend niya and open minded," nagkibit ng balikat si Liz. Their camera is open, that's why I can see their reactions. Akin lang ang hindi bukas dahil ayaw kong makita nila ang mukha ko.

Humagikhik si Lucy. “Wow! Kinikilig naman ako. Sobrang bait siguro ng girlfriend niya kasi pumayag na pasukin niya ang ganoong trabaho. Anong klaseng boyfriend kaya si Saij? Mukhang suplado pa naman siya."

Bago ko pa marinig ang ibang pag-uusapan nila ay umalis na ako sa video call. Nang mapatay ko ang tawag ay hinagis ko ang cellphone sa kung saan at sinubsob ang mukha ko sa unan.

There were no tears in my eyes but my heart was beating rapidly and my chest was still heavy. Huminga ako ng malalim habang nakapikit at pinakalma ang sarili. Mabuti dahil hindi na ako lumuluha, siguro dahil may parte sa akin na pinaghandaan na ito.

I don't know why I am experiencing this kind of thing. When I am happy, then there will be a problem that will ruin my happiness. Hindi ko alam kung hindi hindi ba talaga ako karapat-dapat na maging masaya.

I inhaled deeply and exhaled harshly. Ngayon na lang ulit ako naging masaya matapos ang pagkawala ni mama. I never anticipated that my joy would be snatched away so suddenly.