I am in love -Taylor X Travis

Twenty-Seven

Evelyn POV

After having a little moment with Taylor on the couch earlier it was now super late and time to get into bed. I didn't know what was happening with me, sometimes i felt okay and other times i felt like the world was crashing down on me. 

I was lying in Travis guest room bed unable to sleep. I had been tossing and turning for a while now and i don't feel like sleep is going to overcoming me any time soon. 

Taylor had been an absolute god send today holding me when i cried and helping me eat when it seemed impossible. Lying in bed my thought were running freely in my head and it was driving me crazy not being able to turn my mind off. 

I grab my phone from the bedside table and message Taylor 

Me :Are you asleep?

Tay:) :  Nope, are you okay?

Me : I can't sleep 

Tay:) : can i do anything to help 

Me : can i have a hug?

As soon as i send the message i regret it feeling bad that she would have to get out of bed to come into this room 

Me : Don't worry actually 

Tay:) : Are you sure sweetheart?

Me : Yep

I place my phone down and try to concentrate on sleeping, pulling the blanket over my body and rolling onto my side 

Taylor POV

"I am going to check on Evie" I whisper to Travis, moving out of his hold on me 

"Okay sweet girl" He says, placing a kiss on my head 

I get out of the warm bed and walk out of Travis' room, making my way to Travis' guest room slowly opening the door to reveal Evelyn curled up on the side of the bed with the blanket over her small body 

"Evie sweetheart" I whisper into the room and she rolls over instantly 

"Do you still need a cuddle?" I ask, knowing she most likely would but i still had to ask her 

"Please" she mumbled and removed the blanket from her face

I quickly climb into bed wrapping my arms around her body and pulling her into me. 

"I don't know what is wrong with me" she whispers 

"Sweetheart nothing is wrong with you, something horrible has happened and you are trying to process that" i explain to her 

"i'm really sorry to be a burden to you" 

"Oh Evie you aren't, i care for you so much and if you being here is helping you then i am happy you are here" I admit 

She doesn't reply but instead nods and nestles herself deeper into my arms. We lay like that for a few minutes before i start talking 

"I told this to Travis once when he was having a hard time so i am thinking maybe it might help you. Absolutely nothing in this world is permanent, happiness and sadness, joy and fear, rainy days or sunny days. Nothing with stick forever okay, things will come and go and that is totally okay. You my Sweetheart are allowed to be sad about this but you are also allowed to be happy in moments to without guilt. Sometimes life is really shitty and in this case it has been horrible to you and i know i have absolutely nothing compared to your mothers love but i am here for you when ever you need, you can stay with me for as long as you feel like you need to. You also do not have to be in any rush to come back on tour, you can stay with me if it helps but you don't have to dance at all" I try to comfort her 

She nods against my body and moves her head to look up in to my eyes 

"You make me feel safe and help me more than you know" She admits 

"I am glad sweetheart" 

"I don't know if i truly miss her" Evelyn starts to talk but stops to look at me 

"I am here to listen as long as you need" i comfort and she nods her head before placing in back down my my chest

"I know that every mother has to love their child but i don't think she liked me you know as a person. The way she acted with my siblings was completely different than with me, and i think that's why i don't have a good relationship with them because i always missed what i never actually had and that was her unconditional love." She pauses and takes a deep breath 

"Growing up i always kind of fantasied about being in a different family and having new parents who loved me but i knew that was impossible and i had to deal with the family i was given because they are my only family, so i tried my hardest to seem like i was okay getting treated horribly and that i was okay being the least favourite. I let the blame always fall onto me and i took responsibility for everything and everyone in hopes that maybe my mum would actually like me but it never worked. I always was doing something wrong."  Evelyn takes a second to wipe her eyes before she settles back into talking 

"And well dad he never was really there, he was always at work and when he wasn't he would be in his office at home so i never really got to know him as a person." 

I am speechless, i mean words are meant to be my thing but what on earth am i meant to say to the poor girl in my arms who is pouring her heart out to me.

"Sweetheart, i am so so sorry" I whisper, pulling her a little closer in hopes of bringing her comfort 

She doesn't reply but instead sinks into my touch. 

"What do you need from me?" I ask 

"Your words calm me" she admits in a whisper, like if she talks normally the tears will begin to run 

"You know there is something so amazing about traveling the world with a whole bunch of people, you can get to know them and make so many friends but you can also have a family throughout them. I have always said that my band is like my second family and spending almost a year with all of you guys, you are kind of like a family to me too. Sweetheart you can choose who you spend your time with and focus your energy on and it doesn't have to be the people you were forced to grow up with. I for one love your company and your energy, the way you light up a room when you smile and the way you will always make light of a crappy situation. I love you Evie and i promise i am here for you always" I let out a breath, hoping that she believes everything that i said, that she is enough and people do care for her. 

"I love you" She whispers back 

I hold onto her while minutes pass until i hear her breathing even out signaling that's he is now asleep, i slowly move my body out from hers and make my way back to Travis' room.