You Only Live Once

CHAPTER 30

It had been only four hours since Mira had returned to Potter Manor, and yet she had seen only Mia. Everyone else was once again out, likely risking their lives or running errands for the Order of the Phoenix. Mira understood how important their work was, especially as the shadow of the war grew longer over the wizarding world, but she had secretly hoped for a house full of people. She had wanted noise, laughter, and a million distractions to keep her from her own thoughts. At the moment, her own mind was the most dangerous place for her to be.

Her head was spinning and a dull, rhythmic pounding had taken up residence behind her eyes. Everything around her felt like it was buzzing with a strange, frantic energy. It felt wrong that the manor looked exactly the same as it had when she left. How could the world possibly be the same after last night? He hadn't even looked at her this morning. On the platform, as students scrambled to greet their families, Theo had simply walked past her. He was heading toward the exit with Alecto Carrow trailing behind him like a shadow, a smug, triumphant look etched onto her face. He hadn't slowed down. He hadn't flinched. He had just gone.

Mia had seen the solemn, haunted look on Mira's face the moment she stepped through the door. She had asked what was wrong before they even reached the kitchen, but Mira didn't know the etiquette for this kind of grief. How do you tell someone that a boy you weren't technically "with" had shattered your heart into a thousand pieces?

"We had a fight" she had told Mia, her voice tight. "A defining one."

She had then retreated to her bedroom, shutting the door with a finality that left no room for follow-up questions. Ten minutes ago, she had heard the heavy thud of the front door opening and closing, but it didn't sound like a crowd. When no one immediately came up to check on her, Mira decided to force herself to be productive. She needed to do something with her hands.

She gathered a pile of parchment, colored inks, scissors, and scraps of ribbon, spreading them across her desk until the wood was barely visible. She decided to make custom Christmas cards for everyone. It was a simple, repetitive task that should have been calming. Remus would get a card that looked like a giant chocolate bar. Lily's would be shaped like an old, leather-bound book. Evan would get a broomstick.

She picked up a dark grey marker and reached for a fresh piece of paper. Theo's would be a pack of cigarettes—his favorite brand. She could almost see it in her mind. She would give it to him and he would laugh that low, rough laugh of his. He would call her ridiculous, then he would lean in and kiss her, and the smell of smoke and mint would wrap around her...

The ink bled into a dark, ugly puddle on the parchment as she realized she was staring at nothing.

"I'm quite offended you didn't run down the stairs to greet me, Ro" a voice sounded from the doorway.

Mira whipped her head around, her heart jumping in her chest.

"James!" she exclaimed. She stood up so quickly her chair nearly tipped over.

James was standing there with a tired but genuine grin, his arms already open. Mira didn't hesitate; she ran across the room and launched herself at him. James caught her easily, lifting her off the floor and spinning her around until she felt slightly dizzy. When he finally set her down, they stayed in a hug for a long moment, the familiar scent of James—broom wax and woodsmoke—acting like a balm on her frayed nerves.

"What are you making there, cousin?" he asked, gesturing toward the chaotic mess on her desk as he wandered over to her bed and slumped onto the mattress.

"Oh, just these" Mira said, trying to surreptitiously hide the half-finished cigarette card under a pile of scraps. She sat back down in her chair with a heavy sigh. "I'm making everyone Christmas cards. Each one has a specific theme based on what they like."