You Only Live Once

CHAPTER 38

Mira stood frozen before the glass, her reflection a pale ghost of the person she had been just a year ago. Her palms smoothed the silk of the dress, the fabric cool and unapologetically white. It was a beautiful gown, shimmering under the dim light of her bedroom, but it felt like a shroud.

Last November, Christina had handed her the box with a look that was more a plea than a gift. When Mira had tried to refuse—arguing that wearing white to a friend's wedding was a social death sentence—Christina had simply taken her hands.

"I'm doing this for us, Mira" she had whispered, her voice brittle. "I don't want to wear white to marry a man I don't love. I need to see you in it. I need to see you in white while Theo is standing at that altar, even if you're not the one standing next to him."

Christina carried a guilt that never quite went away. She felt responsible for the tectonic plates of their lives shifting, for being the wedge that drove a perfectly compatible couple apart. She saw two people she loved being forced into a tragedy, and this dress was her small, desperate way of trying to rewrite a single day.

"I don't even know why I'm going." Mira's voice broke the silence of the room. She turned away from the mirror and let herself fall back onto the bed, her body hitting the mattress with an aggressive thud.

Lily sighed, the sound heavy with sympathy, and lay down beside her. For a long time, neither of them spoke. They simply stared up at the ceiling, where small, glowing stars mimicked a sky that felt much too far away. Lily understood the hesitation. She knew that a Potter being invited to a wedding of this caliber—a gathering of the oldest, darkest, and most traditional families—was a political statement as much as a social one.

"You're going because seeing him get married will help you finally move on" Lily said eventually. Her voice was low and sweet, but a sad smile touched her lips. "If you stay here, he'll always be a 'maybe.' Today, he becomes a 'no.'"

Mira let out a dry, jagged laugh. She stared at the ceiling, her eyes tracing the familiar patterns of her room. "My mom always had this theory" she started, her voice sounding distant. "She thinks that if my dad had grown up with a mother, things would have been different for me and my brother. She thinks he would have been a good, loving father. But he wasn't. He was cold and ruthless because someone murdered his mother when he was only five years old. He grew up with his father—my grandpa—who was a horrible, cruel man."

Lily didn't move. She didn't even seem to breathe. She knew that when Mira started talking like this, any interruption would make her retreat back into her shell.

"I spent my whole life hating whoever killed her" Mira continued, her voice trembling just slightly. "I hated them because they didn't just take her life. They took my dad's heart. They took the childhood I could have had. I could have been normal. I could have been happy."

Mira turned onto her side, looking Lily directly in the eyes. Her expression was a painful mix of bitterness and exhaustion. "I found out who killed her, Lils. I found out, and the worst part is... I couldn't hate him. I couldn't hate him because I already loved him too much."

Lily's mouth went agape. The realization hit her like a physical blow, and she sat up in a swift, blurred movement, her hand flying to her mouth to stifle a gasp.

"It was Theo?" Lily whispered, her eyes wide with shock.

"Yes" Mira said, sitting up as well. Her movements were slow, as if her limbs were made of lead. "And when I found out, I didn't feel rage. I just felt... confused. I wondered how my grandma could even exist in this time. I wondered if the same events would always happen, no matter what we changed. I even wondered if you existed in the place I came from." She shook her head, a bittersweet chuckle escaping her. "But I never hated him. I just felt sorry for him. I felt bad for the boy he was and the man he was forced to become."