You Only Live Once

CHAPTER 38

"You look beautiful"
"Do you think it's appropriate?"
"Not normally but-"
"I'll change"
"She asked you to"
Mira just stared at herself in the mirror , running her hands up and down her stomach. Last November Christina had gifted her a beautiful white dress to wear at the wedding. When Mira kindly refused , saying that she wouldn't wear white at a friend's wedding, Cristina assured her that she was doing it for the both of them. She didn't want to wear white to marry someone she wasn't in love with and she really wanted to see Mira in white while Theo was the groom. Christie could never shake the guilt off of her , the guilt of separating a perfectly compatible couple . Two people she cared for. Two people that could've been happy one day. But now things were different.
"I don't even know why I'm going" Mira moved to her bed and laid back on it aggressively. Lily sighed and joined her friend. They both stared at Mira's starred ceiling for a while, silence between them. Lily didn't know why Mira was going either. What she did know was that not going was worse than going. A Potter being invited to a wedding like that was questionable enough as it was . Not showing up might have sent the wrong message.
"You're going because seeing him getting married will help you to finally move on." Lily said in a low, sweet voice , a sad smile slowly forming in her lips.
"My mom thinks that if my dad grew up with a mom around , things would be better for me and my brother. That he would be a good, loving father. But he wasn't, because someone murdered his mother when he was five. And he had to grow up with his horrible father. My grandpa. I always resented whoever killed her. I resented them because they took more than one life. I hated them because I could have a good childhood. I could've been normal." Lily listened closely, not daring to make a sound. Mira didn't open up often so when she did everyone would stay quiet in fear that if they made a sound she would stop. "I found out who killed her , Lils" Mira said with a bittersweet chuckle, turning on her left side to look at her friend eye to eye. "I found out and I couldn't hate him because I already loved him too much." After that sentence Lily's mouth went agape in realisation. The red-head stood up from the bed in a swift movement , bringing her hand to her mouth.
"It was Theo?"Lily questioned , just to confirm that what she had understood was true.
"Yes. And when I learned a million thoughts crossed my mind. How does my grandma exist here? How do the same events take place? Do you exist where I come from too? All those thoughts but not one of them was to hate him. I mostly felt bad for him." She confessed , standing up as well . Not of them seemed able to form words after that revelation. Mira turned her head to look at the clock that stood on the wall opposite her only to see that she was already late.
"Evan will be here in five minutes. I'll see you tonight?" Mira kissed Lily's cheek and hurried to wear her shoes and go downstairs and out in the garden where Evan would wait for her behind some bushes .
"Rosie?" Lily called her name just before she stepped out of the door. " Wear this and take it off later if you feel like it" she threw her an elegant coat which would cover up half her dress . Mira threw her a smile before running down the stairs.

........

Evan, Regulus,Pandora and Mira were sitting in the second row alongside, much to their dismay, the Carrows and Mulciber. The venue was beautifully decorated , the ceiling filled with chandeliers, the flowers extravagant, everything: expensive. The place buzzed with chatter from guests all around. Pureblood guests. Everyone was minding their business. But Mira's mind was a complete mess. Since the moment Theo stepped in his place , she hadn't stopped looking at him. She couldn't stop herself, she had tried but everything else around her seemed unimportant. She felt like it was the last time she would ever see him, like he would disappear and she would lose him forever. She did everything in her power not to think that she already had . Theo looked everywhere but at where she sat. He was knowingly avoiding to let himself look at her direction, that much she could tell.
Just a minutes ago someone had instructed them to take their seats and keep quiet because the bride would soon come out. In what way? Was the first thing that crossed Mira's mind.
"Here she comes" Evan whispered in her ear, before the doors fully opened to reveal Christina in her glorious, beautiful....blue dress. She wasn't kidding about the choice of color.
Cristina loved Theo, Mira knew as much. But it was evident in both their faces that they didn't want to be there. That they didn't want to be doing this. They were looking at each other in fear. Because they could see their futures in each other's eyes. A future they didn't ask for.
The ceremony went by in a blur. Mira's eyes were glued to the floor , trying to cancel out every last one of the officiant's words. But they were a few that she didn't t manage to silence in her mind.
"Do you, Christina Fenwick, take the Theodore Nott, to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do"
"Do you, Theodore Nott, take the Christina Fenwick  to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Mira felt a hand slip into hers and she gripped into it for dear life. That was it. Just two words and he was gone. No matter how long he would take to say them he would have to eventually. And they would be heartbreaking. So the hand in hers felt like  a lifeboat in the ocean she had found herself drowning in.
"I do" Mira quickly  closed her eyes as applause filled the venue . She didn't see . She didn't want to see. She didn't have to see why they were clapping. When it had ended she opened her eyes again. The hand was still in hers . She turned her head and gave Regulus a grateful smile before resting her head on his shoulder, her hand never leaving his.