You Only Live Once

CHAPTER 42

"You haven't eaten"
"Neither have you"
It had been a week since the tragic news of Evan and Regulus' death. It had been a week since Mira's heart was shuttered. Their funerals had happened. Mira and Sirius obviously weren't invited and their reactions to it were completely different. Mira was pissed that she couldn't get her closure, that she wasn't there to see them lower the casket, maybe she would get some answers then. Sirius on the other hand felt it was for the best, in his mind if he didn't see the casket his little brother would continue to live. Nothing felt right around them. They couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't even speak. Everyone that loved them tried their best to cheer them up even if they knew it wouldn't be easy.
Mira and Sirius spent most of their nights up at the roof, often without speaking . As soon as the stars were up they were as well. They were looking for something in particular.
"You came up here earlier than usual today"
"I needed some air"
"Ro..." Sirius wasn't at all convinced by her answer. When she needed air she went outside and on the swing. She only came up to the roof when she needed to process things.
"I found a note Reg left me in one of my books." She finally admitted. Sirius immediately understood why she needed the air and the thinking. He couldn't imagine finding a note from his brother after his death.
"What- what did it say?" He hesitated to ask, not wanting to strike a nerve. They were both quite angry all the time lately, easy to snap even with the tiniest inconvenience. Just yesterday he himself had yelled at James because he got his favourite spoon at dinner . Mira cleared her throat before pulling a paper out of her back pocket.
"Dear Mira. I'll keep this short. Right now you're sitting on the couch in our common room with Evan and you're laughing about Merlin knows what. You're so beautiful when you laugh. Have I ever told you that? How beautiful you are?I realised that with the war going on I might never be able to tell you some things in person or ever for the matter.You're really special and I'm sorry I never made you feel this way. Truth is ,most of the time I battled with my own feelings for you, denying every last bit of emotion. I don't know if I'm alive by the time you read this , Mira. I might be right next to you and we're laughing together. One thing I now know is that I love you. Very much so. And you want to know how I'm sure? Somehow you made fighting and staying alive important. So I can see you again. I know what you'd say 'Come and say it in my face you coward' and I wish that one day I will. I love you, I miss you. I'm sorry.
RAB" by the time she had finished reading , Sirius' mouth had fallen open. Last thing he knew about Mira and his brother was that they were friends with quite a lot of disagreements. He had no idea Regulus felt this way about her.
"So ,he was practically in love with you" he commented like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Looks like it" Mira shrugged her shoulders.
Still, it didn't change the fact that Regulus was dead.Silence fell between them once again as they looked at the night sky, at one star in particular. "Bloody bastard never had the courage to tell this in my face" Mira said through gritted teeth . That's when they both started laughing. Really laughed . In the past week they had only been shouting, crying or staying completely silent. Laughing felt quite healing to the both of them.
Before they could fully enjoy the moment a loud banging noise stole their attention. Lights shone at the end of the hill and smoke appeared out of nowhere.
"Death eaters" Sirius breathed out , taking his wand out of his right pocket and holding it tightly on one hand while the other held Mira and guided her back inside the house. Potter Manor was guarded by the fidelious charm , as where all of the order members houses,with Monty as the secret keeper. Technically the death eaters couldn't see them like they could but their appearance still was enough to shake them.
Mira and Sirius rushed into the house and down the stairs to the living room where Mira, Monty, James and Lily all had a firm hold on their wands . Monty signalled for them all to be quiet as he slowly walked towards the front door and opened it stepping outside with everyone following him. They were just four of them.
"You said it would be here!" One of them said to the other , frustrated.
"I remember it being here!" The other replied angrily.
Wait. Was that-
"Bloody Crouch, can't do anything right!"
Barty.
And Mulciber and Carrow.
"Okay we spread out, search most of the place before we go back with nothing" They scattered through the property , searching for something that most certainly was there but they couldn't see it . The fourth one stayed right where he was . Literally just stood in place for a considerable amount of time before he started speaking.
"I think they can't hear me now" he said . "Barty is angry. Evan's death was brutal for him" he stated . Mira found herself walking closer to him until they were centimeters apart. "Merlin, I hope you're here and I'm not just talking to myself" he laughed to himself before he took his mask off. "Chrissy is pregnant. It's a boy. My father's insisting on naming him Theodore Nott Jr. I personally find it ridiculous" A smile spread across Mira's face . "I know it must have been hard for you,Mira. Losing Reg and Evan. I took it pretty hard as well. I can't even imagine how you must feel like though. I wouldn't want to know how losing-" he stopped himself and looked down at his feet with a sad expression.
"Nott!" Carrow shouted from a distance . "We're going!"
Theo sighed and pulled up his mask.
"I hope one day there won't be an invisible wall between us. Take care"
"You too" she found herself whispering. Her voice was so low that he could've easily missed it . But Mira saw him slightly smile before putting his mask back on and disappearing in a mist of back smoke.