You Only Live Once

CHAPTER 21

Slytherin took the win against Gryffindor at the last Quiditch game before Easter break so they decided to celebrate it with a huge party at their common room. A party where there was a lot of people and lot more alcohol. Mira decided to be the one who would stay sober to be able to help her friends later on in the night. After some point Pandora had resigned  back up her dorm room , not able to take the tension of the party any longer. After a lot of games, chatter and pointless laughter Mira and Theo were sprawled in one of the corners of the common room  , cuddled up against each other, stealing a few kisses from each other every now and then. Theo had drunk his arse off  which made him very talkative and affectionate. More than usual at least. He would talk about everything that would come to his mind with a smile, that Mira loved, adoring his face and his hands were caressing her cheeks and hid lipd leaving light pecks on every corner of her face. Mira would treasure those few moments for the rest of her life. It wasn't like he wasn't touching or talking to her other times but at the moment he was so carefree and gentle. At that moment ,Mira could envision their life if they were normal teenagers, if a war wasn't hiding behind a corner, if that war wouldn't make them take opposite sides.

"Darling" Theo whispered adoringly softly, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. She hummed in response. "I love you" Three little words. Eight innocent letters. And yet they had the power to destroy. Mira stared at him not knowing how to respond or at least not wanting to respond with the appropriate answer. This shouldn't be happening. Not with them. The alcohol was slowly getting the best of him an d the longer Mira took to respond the angrier he became.

"Just forget it" he spat , standing up and leaving Mira behind him on the floor.

"Theo wait!"

"You always say we can't, we shouldn't, that there's too much to risk. And honestly I'm so fucking tired of this shit. Why can't we Mira? Why shouldn't we? Who's stopping us?"

"You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying" Mira responded, tears threatening to leave her eyes. Everyone had stopped what they were doing and they were watching and listening intensely at the two sixth years.

"Things have never been clearer for me, I promise you!" Regulus , Barty and Evan had made their way through the crowd , trying to get closer to their friends so they could end their argument.

"Theo, mate, take it easy. It's Mira." Barty said standing right behind him, carefully putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Theo, I'm-I'm sorry. I can't-"

"Fucking hell ,Mira! Just leave! I don't wanna see your face!"

"Okay enough!" Evan said getting between them. "Take him up to the dorms, he has clearly lost his mind" he told Regulus and Barty , who did so without a second thought. "Come on, love, let's go outside" he said softly, turning his whole attention to Mira, whose vision was blurry and her lungs were searching for air.

"What happened in there?" Evan asked when they were on the stairs.

"He told me he loves me"

"And you? Don't you love him?"

"I don't know Ev!" as if just  realizing how harsh she sounded ,she sighed deeply and looked at the floor, too ashamed to look at her friend. "I'm sorry Ev" she apologised ,burying her face in his chest as he had already opened his arms wide. He hugged her tightly, letting her calm down and take the air she needed.

"I'm your friend Mira, you don't need to apologise. We all have our moments. I understand"

......

After her fight with Theo last night at the party, Mira decided to take their Sunday morning walk all by herself. Between the anniversary of her mother and brother's death and Theo's confession, her mind was a mess. She never felt grief during the first year they were gone, not in the haze of trying to fit into an entirely different place. Changing your whole life is enough to make you busy so you forget why everything needed to change in the first place. Two years later she was at Hogwarts. She had made her own friends and people around her loved her. Experiencing the feeling of unfamiliar comfort the past couple of months, made the grief, she never got to experience, come to the surface. Maybe if her brother was around , Theo telling her he loved her would be something fun and exciting to talk about. But it wasn't and her brother wasn't there. He would never be there again.

"I heard someone's upset" a voice sounded beside her.  Mira must have been too lost in her own thoughts, not to realise he had walked up the stands. She didn't turn her head, she simply wiped a tear that had fallen from her eye and hugged her knees to her chest , resting her head on them. Theo, who wasn't really expecting her to reply, sighed and walked closer to her . Mira was still in her dress from the night before and the air was freezing up at the stands , despite it being late April. He slowly sat down, taking the seat next to her and stared straight at the Quiditch field in front of him. Theo was sure that no excuse would be good enough to explain what he had said last night. Because he might have been hammered but he would never forget Mira's face through it all. After some minutes of silence , Theo noticed that Mira was slightly trembling from the cold , so he hesitantly  wrapped and arm around her to bring her closer. Mira didn't hesitate one bit to move even closer to him, because , as much as she hated it at the moment, his touch was the only thing that could bring her the comfort she needed. No sooner did she lean her head on his shoulder than the tears started falling one by one.

"I'm so sorry" she said in broken voice and Theo took her face in his hands so she would look at him.

"What for , darling? I should be the one to apologise"

"I'm sorry you ended up with someone like me" she mumbled with a weak smile. "Love scares me Theo. It always has and-" she couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence. Theo hadn't uttered a word still but the way he was looking at her, with so much concern and pain, made her want to cry even more. "It's so unfair for you" Mira's whole body was trembling now . Theo chuckled softly ,a faint smile adoring his face while he was trying to wipe the tears and mascara from Mira's cheeks.
"I don't give a shit about if you can or cannot love me. All I care about is having you in my life. And honesty darling there are much more important stuff to be sad about. I mean isn't today-

"Yes" Mira cut him off.  Theo had known about her brother and mother's death but never really acknowledged it. There was no person who hated death more than he did.

"Okay" he replied, taking a strand of her hair and putting it behind her ear. "And what have we talked about? We can only be sad about one thing at a time. So for today, or any day for the matter, you don't cry for me. I'll be there for you, I'll get you whatever you need . But, please Mira, let's forget about last night." Mira slowly nodded her head before burying it into Theo's chest  and hugging him tight. Theo , who was already holding, held her a little tighter than before.

"Do you miss them?" he asked, giving her forehead a kiss.

"I miss him"