Jurdan Oneshots

《11》

Cardan and Jude are, once again, in the mortal world. Oak is at a sleepover and Heather and Vivi are on a date. Cardan, being Cardan, got bored stuck at home and wanted to go out somewhere for dinner. Jude suggested they order takeout, but Cardan was stubborn as hell.

So, Jude decides to take him to McDonalds.

"This is where you mortals eat?" Cardan asks, clearly a bit disgusted at the thiught of not eating at a fancy restaurant or at his dining room back in Elfhame.

"Yes, Cardan." Jude replies, in a 'duh' tone.

They head inside, and are greeted by a cashier with excessive makeup who's loudly chewing gum.

"What can I get ya?" She asks, the sound of the gum smacking in her mouth very loud.

"Two burgers, please. Chicken. And a coke for me." Jude replies, smiling, trying to hide the disgust from her face at the sound of the smacking gum.

"And for the hottie?" The cashier asks, looking Cardan up and down.

"That hottie turns out to be my husband. So I suggest you refrain from using that nickname for him." Jude snaps, clearly annoyed.

"Okay, okay, jeez. Like, chill, dude. Anyways, as I was saying before I was rudely interrputed, what does your husband want?" The cashier asks, obviously trying to piss off Jude.

"I'll have a wine, please. We can share the burgers, my wife and I." Cardan says, a polite smile on his face.

The cashier bursts out into laughter, "Oh, you're a funny one, aren't you? Wine. Pfft."

"I'm sorry?" Cardan asks, the confusion evident in his voice.

"Yo, Bert! This dude just asked for wine!" The cashier yells out to another, who's supposedly named Bert.

Bert bursts out laughing at that as well and shakes his head, muttering, "Wine," under his breath and then turning back to his computer.

"Sir, we don't serve wine here. This is a McDonalds, not some fancy-schmancy restaurant." The cashier says, the smacking of the gum growing louder by the minute.

"Oh, you don't?"

"No, sir. We don't."

"We'll have two cokes and two McFlurries. Takeaway. Thank you." Jude says, stifling her own laughter.

A few minutes later, when Jude and Cardan are driving back home, Cardan asks her, "You could've warned me, y'know?"

"About what?"

"The wine."

"Right."

"Wait a second."

"What's wrong?"

"I thought we were eating there, not at home."

"Not with that gum smacking, we weren't."

"Darling-"

"-Cardan. We're eating at home. Come on, we can cuddle and watch TV, and-"

"-JUDE, EYES ON THE ROAD!"

Jude steps on the brakes immediately as she almost crashes into a pole.

"I swear, you're going to be the death of me someday."

"Someday, Cardan. Someday."

"Yep. Wait, what?!?-"