Science of Owls

utterly forgettable

chapter 35 

There was a great chance that Nana didn't intend for this to happen but she did plant the idea into my head.

" one sip of this and you'll be clogging toilets for days!" she laughed, and scurried to the bathroom after sculling her drink.

The effects were almost immediate. Which in my case was perfect.

We ate our oddly small cakes in class , walking out of class I followed Amelia from a distance. I watched her pick up her pace... she was headed towards the toilets...

I slowly followed her ... She could be heard clearly from outside the bathrooms...

I felt a sense of relief that my plan had worked... but I felt sick from the smell she was making .

I grinned and went onto the field. Connie and Eve were probably at their usual spot, today I just wanted to draw.

I sat down under the tree I used in year 7. There was something about trees that I found comforting.

I pulled out my nearly full sketch book. Since the start of this year I had changed my drawing styles, I had drawn less monsters and demons but more human figures and couples...

" your actually stupid... your breaking your own heart" I mumbled to myself.

I flicked through the frantic sketches and the thoughtful paintings.

The amount of times I had attempted to draw his perfect body, the endless sketches of him ... and the endless attempts to draw happy couples. I even tried to draw myself in those situations, just to see how I'd look. Most of them were with long hair, very few with short. I felt slightly guilty... why could I draw myself like this but never allow myself to attempt them.

One drawing was of a girl hugging into a boys chest , they were laying down and their bottom halves were covered with a blanket . But I assumed their legs were intertwined, his arms were around her waist and head. He was kissing her neck lightly...

There was another of a piggy back... the girl was being easily lifted up and they were both smiling. She had short hair... this was one of the more painful ones to remember.

Both times they hadn't realised that I was watching.

I guess I always was ...

I pulled out my phone and began listening to 21 guns by green day... just setting my mood.

I proceeded to draw a girl crying in the centre of the page. She looked like me, and had a scratch on her cheek ... like when I fell. She was holding her heart in a bloody mess on the floor, along with some other cracked bits and pieces...

" right..." I said, I began to look through Instagram. I was looking for a good sketch to copy, you know not one that was going to look terr-

My book flipped back with the wind, back to the page where I was sketching in the park on day.

I was waiting for Noodle that day , he was a little late... I had drawn him tickling me. Maybe it was just sentimental to me... he probably wouldn't even remember doing it. Because after all, he doesn't love me.

_________________

its funny how easy it is to cry... sometimes just thinking about how that person has hurt you ... it just ... sorry im tearing up over here :P