Science of Owls

thats not what matters , piglet

Chapter 19 

I observed relationships before. When Connie and Eve were into that stuff... they're on a break they claim...

But this was interesting. Events were proceeding very fast , and I wasn't happy with how I was involved in with it .

He began to sit with her in Tech class. That was fine, it was just how they were doing it.

She would play with his hair. Rip it out even... then he would touch her arm...

It was odd I thought, I mean if I were him I might have hit her my now!

Then he would put his foot on hers... he would even stroke it a little...

Then came the walking to class business. He held her hand ... all the way to class.

EVERY CLASS ALMOST !

Wouldn't your hand be sore? Or would it chafe like lips do when you kiss too much ( apparently...).

I didn't see him sitting with her at lunch too often, he was still messing around playing soccer. Or maybe gluing hair back into his scalp.

I told Connie and Eve about it, they were as nice as they could be about it ... but that really wasn't good enough. No amount of sketching or music could heal this. I felt twisted. I was growing to hate him and how he was acting. Or maybe I was hating her ... I don't know...

I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!

" there's more than just one guy out there Nazz" Eve told me.

" yeah , he's not even that hot" said Connie, half chewing into a pie.

" that's not what matters" I said glumly.

" well its part of what does, I mean being visually attractive is more up your alley right?" said Eve.

" what?"

" you're an artist, you look at things differently. You always draw us without our flaws unless we ask you not to" said Eve , letting Connie finish her breath of pie.

" yeah, you always see the better of people visually, then you draw it like that... well except for the people you hate, then you make them look like monsters haha" laughed Connie.

" thanks ... but I can't do much about what's happening can I ?" I asked, I pulled my knees up close to my chest.

I had spent all Friday night curled in my bedroom , with my phone playing my playlists, and under a blanket I cried my eyes out. The last time I saw on my phone was 10:30 and I was still crying. I must have cried myself to sleep.

" well have you cried over him?" asked Connie, looking to Eve.

" erm... yeah" I said, looking at the ground.

" oh no!" said Eve, looking at Connie , who then looked at me.

It was rare that I cried. I didn't cry when I sprained my ankle in year 6 , or when I cut myself using the scalpel in year 8 to dissect a worm ( not to mention I was the only one who would dissect it ). I could stand physical pain fairly well, mental was different.

If it was more sentimental to me , then I would cry over it. If I was distant , then it could be gone and I would only complain over it.

" that's not good" said Connie, " find another piglet fast!"

" I don't want another"

" you need one!"

That week I ignored him on the Bus.

That was a hard job , but it was easy for him. He was texting his beloved Amelia from when he got on the bus to when he got off.

All I had to do was sit there and listen to my music, I mean fall out boy and my chemical romance are good. But god they're lyrics can get to you.

I cried on the bus every afternoon.

I faced the window and cried.

He wasn't mine. He didn't like me .

And I couldn't have him.

Not for a while at least, I kept reassuring myself.

All things end with time...

____________

and thats a flash into reality :(