A Sith or a Jedi? - a STAR WARS fanfic

Team bonding

Right as we got back to the Republic cruiser, I set out to find Ahsoka. I knew where to find her. She would be in the hangar, talking with the clones, she always does. That would be, of course, if I didn't bump into Obi-Wan.

"Ezra! I heard what happened. Are you- Are you alright?" Obi-Wan asked as he caught up to me, sounding out of breath.

"Oh, yeah, I'd say that under the circumstances, it went pretty well." I replied, my eyes still lingering on Ahsoka's back, watching her as she casually chats with the blonde Captain, Rex.

"I'm glad to hear that. I wasn't sure if..." he began, but when he noticed I wasn't really paying much attention to him, his eyes followed my gaze. "You know what? How about when we get back to Coruscant, you stop by and we'll discuss this later?" he said, patting my shoulder, and turning away to attend to whatever he needed to do. I just silently nodded my head, my mind not really comprehending his words.

Alright, just breathe and calm down. I've done this before, and people understood. Ahsoka's nice, she'll understand too, right?

I made my way over to the duo, who was just in the middle of what seemed to be a personal, secret discussion, because right as they noticed me, they got quiet. I raised my eyebrow, but decided to ignore it for now. Hopefully it wasn't anything about me...

"Hey, Ahsoka, can I talk to you?" I cocked my head to the side, hinting that I wanted to talk to her in private.

She exchanged a quick glance with Rex. "Sure!" she smiled, like nothing ever happened. I could feel her anxiety though.

I nodded to Rex, and turned away to lead Ahsoka into some more secluded area. We walked in some kind of control room, that'll do.

"So, okay... I think there is something I have to explain to you. Please just hear me out." I turned to her, not meeting her eyes the entire time. She nodded, crossing her arms with a muttered 'Alright.'

"I really wish you didn't find out like that, I meant to tell you sometime, but I wasn't really all too sure if I can trust you yet, and if it wouldn't affect you too much, but thing rarely ever go my way so... here we are." I began, sighing before continuing.

"Do you know what do white blades mean?" I asked her, unhooking one of my hilts from my belt, igniting it to illuminate the dim room in white glow.

"Not really... I have never seen it before, I didn't even know it was possible, actually." she admitted, examining the white blade like looking for the answer on it.

"It's a sign of healing. It isn't a natural color for a Kyber crystal. To achieve this color, the Kyber must be firstly bled, then purified through the Force, turning it white." I explained, turning off my saber and putting it back in its place.

"Bled?" she asked, and I slightly winced.

"Bleeding the crystal is a Sith specialty, it's a process during which the crystal turns red, the signature Sith blade color." I sighed. "I bled my crystals when I was around five years old. Back then, I didn't realize what it had meant, I did it because it's what my Master wanted. I thought we were the good people, I thought he was good..."

"Your father was a Sith Lord, wasn't he? And your Master..." she stated, uncrossing her arms and letting them hang by her side.

"Darth Maul. He raised me, taught me about the Force and the nature of the dark side. He taught me the lightsaber techniques, he..." I stopped, trying to suppress the tears that made their way in my eyes, but I wasn't sad. Those were tears of anger. I cannot believe this...

"He manipulated me and lied to me. He used me. When he died, I too became an apprentice to the Sith Lord, Sidious. I did many horrible things, and I hate myself for it to this day. But then Dooku came and they disposed of me. That's when Obi-Wan and Anakin found me." I looked to the side, gripping the fabric of my pants, trying to find comfort anywhere possible.