A Sith or a Jedi? - a STAR WARS fanfic

Goodbyes and prayers

5 AND A HALF YEARS EARLIER 

"Have you executed the villagers as I ordered?" the raspy voice of my Master rang out, the blue light of the hologram illuminating the dark room I was standing in. A long time ago, I used to call this my room. Now it doesn't matter, nothings mine anymore. Even my soul belongs to Sidious now.

"Yes." I answer simply, not wanting to prolong the report. I'm exhausted and the last thing I want right now is getting a pep talk about how useless I am.

"And the Jedi?" he asked, his tone lines with wit, he probably hopes to catch me off guard, but I don't move a single muscle when I respond.

"They've been taken care of. I lured them inside some old building, no one is going to find their bodies for a long time." I say, not breaking eye contact. I didn't mean to, but the corner of my mouth lifted in amusement a little, mirroring the Sith's expression.

"Very well..." he said and I almost ended the call before he added: "I am on my way to Dathomir now, be presentable when I get there." and he ended the transmission.

I froze completely, staring blankly into the darkness, where the hologram of Sidious used to be. He's on his way here? That doesn't mean anything good... how did he even know about the Jedi? Did I fuck something up? Oh no no no...

I snap myself out of my trance and run to the refresher. I tear the messy robes off of my body and jump into the shower. I scrub off any dirt and dried blood and hop out again. I didn't even realize my breathing has fastened until I caught my reflection in the mirror. My normal ash-grey skin was almost white now, my eyes wide open and yellow. They were yellow... how could I let that happen?

How could I let myself fall this deep? I was a murderer. I was a Sith.

But wasn't this what my dad was? No, this is wrong, he wouldn't do these things. I let him down. He'd be so disappointed of the person I have become...

I kept staring at my reflection in disbelief. Tears began forming in my eyes and I let them fall. "No, this can't be..." I shook my head. "No!"

I broke down. Instead of the quiet sobs, I was completely wailing now, but then anger took over and before I could think about it, my hand shot out and hit the mirror, shattering it. I watched the glass fall in the sink and on the floor, before looking at my hand, the skin on my knuckles ripped, blood peeking out already.

What is wrong with me? Why am I like this? What is wrong with me? Why do I have to go through this? Why did my dad leave me? He promised he'd take me with him...

I didn't know for how long I sat at the ground for, crying about my pathetic life, but when I felt the Force shift, I jumped back up, wiped off my tears and headed towards the training hall, where Sidious would meet me.

When I walked through the hall leading to the training room, I felt the drawings watching me. I must've gone insane, because I could swear the little me from the pictures was judging me. Not that I was surprised, she would've been scared of the me now. I have to take these down already. No, I can't, they're the last thing I have to remember my dad...

Because of all this overthinking I didn't even feel the second person who was with Sidious, but it made no difference, as when I entered the room, I saw him immediately.

He stood tall, right next to the throne Sidious was sitting on. I raised an eyebrow, but paid him no attention. Still, who is that and what is he doing here? Could he be the reason Sidious visited me? Is he a Jedi?

I walked up to the throne and kneeled on one knee, not saying a word.

"Darth Morana... Tell me, what should I do with you?" he asked somehow casually.