We open to a boy levitating Joe as he drops a bat.
Joe: She's never gonna date you, man!
Boy: That's a lie. You just want her for yourself!
Joe: Okay now you're just reaching at this point.
He looks at a box of lamb shears.
Boy: And I'm gonna make sure you never lie to me again, friend.
He Levitates lamb shears as Joe looks at the readers.
Oh hey, you're still here. Y'know you're probably thinking to yourself... what the hell is happening right now? And you're probably also wondering how I got here and who's this lil' feller with the temper tantrum is? Well it's a long story actually two long stories one having us track down a mythical sea beast only to find it was being controlled by a crazy hillbilly, then we had a mystery of the murder of Stan... the Wax Figurine of course which ended up with me, Dipper and Mabel fighting haunted celebrity Wax figures led by Sherlock Holmes. Now here I am being levitated by an albino hair colored hobbit who lives off the 11 herbs and spices and rodeos. But how did it ever come to this? Well you've guys seen the show plenty of times to know how this goes down but for plot let's take it back a few days before my imitate doom.
The episode cuts to Stan Pines out in the front yard with some tourists.
Stan: For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible "Sack of Mystery." When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears!
The crowd mutters several positive things about the trick's credibility and Stan's character. Stan smiles at his gain and their loss.
Cuts to Joe, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos watching television.
TV: The tiger was badly injured in the explosion, but we repaired him with a fist.
Joe, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos start cheering and Dipper says that the tiger's a hero. On TV, the tiger punches itself.
TV: Tiger Fist! ...will return after these messages.
Soos: Hey, look. It's that commercial I was telling you guys about.
TV: Are you completely miserable?
Actor: YES!
TV: Then you need to meet (In a whisper:) Gideon.
Dipper: Gideon?
Joe: What kind of sad sap names someone Gideon?
Mabel: What makes him so special?
TV: He's a psychic.
Mabel: Aroo?
Joe: I highly doubt that someone can be psychic.
Mabel: Jojo hush!
She covered his mouth as Joe looked over at Mabel with a face that said: "The audacity". As the TV continues.
TV: So don't waste your time with other so-called "men of mystery."
The screen shows a clip of Stan coming out of an outhouse and is stamped with the word "FRAUD."
Joe: I wish, I can unsee that.
TV: Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy. (Speeding through subtext for commercial:) Voidwhereprohibited,noC.O.D.'saccepted.CarlaI'vealwayslovedyoubutneverhadthegutstosayit.
Mabel: Wow, I'm getting all curiousy inside!
Joe: That's never a good sign.
Stan: Well, don't get too curiousy. Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothin' but trouble.
YOU ARE READING
Gravity Falls: Weirdest Summer Ever
FanfictionJoseph Aonani joins his best friends Twins Dipper and Mabel Pines who were sent to spend the summer with their great-uncle, Grunkle Stan, in the mysterious town of Gravity Falls, Ore. Grunkle Stan has the kids help him run The Mystery Shack, the tou...
