Gravity Falls: Weirdest Summer Ever

The Golf War

Ah golf. A sport Golf is a game played outdoors where players use clubs to hit a ball into holes. It can be played for fun or competitively, and can be a casual pastime or a team activity.

A social activity. Golf can be a great way to meet new people, improve business relationships, or enjoy the company of others. A mental challenge. Golf can be a stimulating mental challenge that can help reduce stress and anxiety. A way to be outdoors. Golf can be a great way to spend time in nature, which can help improve concentration, reduce anxiety, and boost self-esteem. A way to learn. Golf can be a way to learn about new technology and research, and to constantly adapt to the changing world. A way to be creative. Golf can be a way to be creative, whether that's creating shots on the course or being creative when thinking of how to help others. A symbol of status. Golf can be a symbol of social status and is often associated with people who have positions of power and influence. For me? Having to save this bitch sadly.

A lever is pulled near Pacifica, and she starts being pulled toward the whirring blades of the windmill. She screams. Joe Climbs a lamp post, followed by the swarm of golf balls. He swings along a chain of lights and lands by the windmill, evading the golf pencil spears thrown by the crowd.

Honestly if I wasn't so noble I'd leave her to be shredded to pieces. Would've saved me and the town, the trouble honestly.

Excuse me?!

What the—Split Ends?! How are you here right now?!

Don't worry about that now! I'm going to—

AHHH!!!

Opens to a shot of the Mystery Shack. Dipper and Waddles are sitting on the couch watching television and eating cereal. Joe was seen depressed messing with his bowl of cereal as Stan Enters with a pan with a pancake.

Stan: Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in 'em.

Dipper: Pass.

Stan: Joe?

Joe: I'm not really hungry.

Stan: C'mon kid, you've barely said a word the past three days. You haven't even said nothing snarky. I'm starting to get worried.

Joe: Thanks for the concern Stan it's just personal family issues.

Mabel Bursts through the door giddily with a newspaper in hand.

Mabel: It's here!

She Runs around and screams.

Mabel: Aaah! Oh, it's here! It's here, it's here, it's here! I've been waiting all morning and it's finally here! I know you've been down in the dumps Jojo but seeing your best friend succeed will definitely give you a smile. The Gravity Falls Gossiper accepted my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels. My picture is gonna be in the newspaper! Check it!

She Shows everyone a view of the newspaper.

Stan: "Pacifica Northwest declares v-necks the look of the season!" What am I looking at here?

Mabel: Woah, woah, WHAT?!

She Looks at the newspaper. The newspaper reads "GREATEST THING OF THE SUMMER!", and shows a portrait of Pacifica Northwest, with the caption "PACIFICA NORTHWEST."

Joe: Looks like someone bought their way to the front page.

Stan: Is it legal for a child to wear that much make-up?

Joe: Sadly no. If it was, I would've reported her to the cops day 1.

Stan: Hey kid, your snarky comments are coming back!