That Juan Time Stopped (Introduction - To the Dreams of my Youth a Series)

Epílogo

Finale

"What's this?" I held a sturdy and white envelope. I was sitting alone near the open field quietly when Vera's best friend went to me.

She's holding into the strap of her body bag tightly like her life depended on it. Bago pa tuluyang manginig ang kamay niya sa pag-abot sa akin binawi ko na iyon sa kanya ng tuluyan. I fixed my rimmed glasses before I opened the envelope.

"Pakiramdam ko magagalit sa akin si Vera," my brows drew together by hearing her name. Jayen gulped and continued talking. "Hindi, for sure magagalit siya sa akin. Secret niya 'yan e, kinuha ko pa 'yan sa bahay nila Autie Issa niya, kasama ng mga iniwan niyang gamit." patuloy niya.

I took a piece of paper out, but my hands froze when the sketch looked so familiar. Bumaba ang mata ko sa date at lalong kumunot ang noo ko. This was sketched before I even availed her services.

She knew me?

Humarap ako kay Jayen at hindi nakapagsalita agad. Halo-halo ang katanungan sa utak ko pero tumango ito at parang naiintindihan ang ibig kong sabihin.

She pursed her lips together, "Ayokong pangunahan si Vera, pero minsan kasi mali din ang mga desisyon niya sa buhay. Iniwan ka niya dito na hindi nililinaw sa'yo lahat... alam kong ginawa niya iyon para rin sa'yo. Ayaw niyang umasa ka na babalik pa siya pero..."

My heart pounds harder inside my chest. I never imagined this time would come. And the anticipation rising inside me sparks the lifeless part of my being since she was gone.

Napakamot ito sa ulo at hindi halos makatingin sa akin. "Nakikita kasi kitang laging malungkot at tulala. Baka lang makatulong 'yan para kahit papaano maibsan ang lungkot mo..."

I nodded to her. "Thank you..."

"Ayoko ng manggaling sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng sketch na 'yan para sa'yo. Pero kung ano man ang nasa isip mo... baka tama ka. Wag ka masyadong panghinaan ng loob. Kasi baka pareho kayo ng nararamdaman... kung ano man 'yon."

Tinitigan ko siya ng kalmado pero nagwawala na ang puso ko sa loob dahil sa mga nalaman. I know that there was something with Vera. She's very good with people, who she believes and spends time with. And turns out she spends most of her time with me, doon palang alam ko na... May dahilan bakit lagi siyang nasa tabi ko. Maliban sa mga session namin. There was a deeper meaning.

But I try to ignore it. Not because I was scared, but because I know that no matter how special I am for her. I will not be greater than her dreams, plans, family. And I completely understand it. What she did was right.

Alam kong hindi niya ako pipiliin. Kaya hindi ko na siya pinigilan. Kasi bakit pa? Pahihirapan ko lang siya.

I saw how she cried that night. She doesn't want to go. But she didn't let her emotions get the best out of her. Mas pinili niya kung anong makakabuti para sa lahat. Hindi lang sa kanya, sa amin, pero para sa pamilya niya.

I am not mad at her. I caused my own pain. I fell in love with her and it's my decision. Wala siyang responsibilidad na ibalik 'yon. I loved her because she deserves to be loved. I loved her because my heart chose her. I loved her... because it's her.

I caressed my thumb carefully on my face, sketched perfectly on the paper. Smile formed on my lips. A remembrance of her. I miss her so much. I hope she's doing fine.

"I know Jayen. I appreciate this. Thank you." I said back.

Ngumiti siya sa akin ngunit agad rin nalipat ang mata ko sa lalaking naglakad palapit sa kanya. He's still wearing his basketball jersey and holding the ball on his right hand carefully.