Ed, Edd n Eddy (My Version/Headcanon)

Pop Goes The Ed (My Version) Part 1

[Eddy is staring through binoculars at a beehive.]

Eddy: "Okay, boys, it's time for the welcome wagon to pay a visit."

[The Eds are all wearing uniforms that read "Ed's Hive Bee Gone."]

[Eddy creeps up on the nest, carrying a baseball bat. His friends follow, also carrying bats. As we watch, Eddy backs off, letting his friends do the dirty work.]

Double D: [drawing his bat back] "Careful, Ed."

Ed: [readying himself as well] "Knock knock!"

[Ed and Double D proceed to destroy the nest.]

Eddy: [looking at the wreckage] "AAAAHHH!" [He runs away.]

Ed and Double D: [following him, screaming]"WHOOOAOOAOOOOAAA!"

[The bees chase the trio down a hill. Eddy reaches his house. He steps inside and closes the door, holding it shut. Ed and Double D reach it too late, and Eddy strands them outside.]

Eddy: [opening the door after the ruckus subsides]"Hmm?"

Ed: "Um, Eddy? Can we do something else?" [Both his and Double D's faces are swollen with bee stings.]

[The sun is beating down.]

Eddy: [sweating profusely] "What's with this heat?" [pleadingly] "Shade. I need shade." [He spots some.]"There!"

[The Eds all dive into the shade provided by a tree.]

The Eds: [relaxed] "Shade."

[The shade recedes, coming closer and closer to the base of the tree.]

Double D: [getting his arms burned] "Sun!" [They stand against the tree as the shade recedes toward them.]

Eddy: [worried] Oh ,"This can't be good. We need to find some more shade fast!"

[The Eds head from spot to spot. Each time they move, the shade disappears. Ed soon comes up with an idea.]

Ed: "Hey! I know where we can cool off."

Eddy: "And I'm desperate enough to believe you."

[They run off, each step resembling a blazing inferno.]

Katie: [dragging a chair across the kitchen] "Ice. ice."
[She stands on the chair and opens the freezer. A big block of ice falls out. The Eds are frozen inside. She gets scared and kicks them out through the wall to the middle of the street, where the ice melts.]

[Eddy is clawing at sand.]

Eddy: (drooling sand) "W-w-w-w-water!" [He collapses.]

Double D: [crawling] "H₂O, please."

Ed: "Gravy."

Eddy: "I'm frying!" [The Eds collapse down into the sand, defeated.] "The fat lady just sang, boys."

Ed: "My life is flashing before my eyes."

Eddy: "What life?"

Kevin: [looking at them] "What are you guys doing?"

The Eds: "What?" [They suddenly stand up, completely recovered.] "Uh...nothing."

Kevin: "Dorks!" [He speeds off.]

Ed: "Dorks?"

Eddy: "Kevin, wait! Where ya going?"

Kevin: "To Nazz's sprinkler party, stupid!"

Eddy: "Sprinkler party?" [He grins.]

Kevin: [offscreen] "You're NOT invited!"

Eddy: "Sprinkler party! Hear that, boys? A chance to cool off and score some social points, too! Hmm. We have so much preparation to do. We'll start by..." [He huddles with the other two Eds, outlining plans.]

Eddy: [entering his room with his friends in tow] "It's time to put the plan into action." [Ed bumps into Double D.]"Relax, guys, don't do anything I wouldn't, make yourselves at home."

[Ed wriggles under the covers and crawls out with a magazine. He begins reading. Double D, meanwhile, surveys the room and decides to stand.]

Eddy: "Hey, Double D, sit anywhere, you know."

Double D: "I'll stand as per usual, Eddy; thank you."

Eddy: [pulling out a key] "Oh, yeah." [going to a wardrobe] "Now for the secret of schmoozing; the rapture of rap; the snap, crackle, pop of cool." [The doors of the wardrobe open into many other drawers, finally revealing a dresser with locked doors.] "Hire a secretary, boys." [He inserts the key into one of the locks.] "Bingo. Now this–no peeking–this will be a day you'll never forget." [He pulls out a box.] "Pinch yourself, boys, swimsuits of the gods." [The box is opened to reveal three very small swimsuits.] "Well, okay, they're my brother's."

Double D: "My word. They look like napkins!"

Ed: "Cool box, Eddy."

[Eddy puts a record on, and "Green Onions" begins to play. He changes into his swimsuit. He then grabs some hair gel and works it into his hair. Eddy adds lotion to his arms, and he finishes off by drawing five hairs on his chest with a pencil. The look is completed by the addition of a pair of sunglasses. He jumps into the middle of the room, slips, and falls. The record stops playing. Double D and Ed are then seen. Their swimsuits are likewise too tight. Ed is wearing shoes, and Double D is wearing a shirt along with his suit.]

Double D: "Um, perhaps they're a tad too confining."

Eddy: "No way, Jose! We're cooking! People used to try to be cool. But now it's hot. WE'RE hot."

Double D: "Do you feel hot?"

Ed: "Nah. I'm half baked."

Eddy: [placing towels around his friends' shoulders]"Okay, so we look good, we feel good, so, off to the party! [He whips his friends with his towel, sending them out before following.] We're gonna be hip, we're gonna be hot, we're gonna make the scene!"

(To be continued)