8 Days, 8 Letters; Spot Conlon

I Hate You

A/N: Sorry this is so late. School has been kicking my butt lately. Anyways I hope you enjoy the next chapter of 8 Days, 8 Letters.

Present Day: July 1899

Jaime's POV

The cold air kissed my face as I walked towards Brooklyn. The smell of sea water and rain was in the air. A storm must be coming. I should hurry. I need to make it back to the lodge house before the storm comes.

The wood creaked under my feet as I headed towards the Brooklyn lodge house. I turned the door knob and slammed the door open. The boys looked up from their cards at me.

"I need to talk to Conlon," I said, angrily.

Spot got up from the table. Mac stopped him and patted Spot on the back.

"Good luck," he encouraged. He mumbled something in Spot's ear.

Spot walked towards me and shut the door behind him, leaving us in the cold, pre-stormy air. He gave me his usual cocky smirk. He's in for a rude awakening.

"So princess," he said, leaning back in his chair. "What brings you by?"

"Not in the mood for your antics, Conlon," I replied.

"Why are you in such a mood? What possible reason do you have to angry with me?"

"Crutchy's in the Refuge, Jack's probably going to end up back in the Refuge in order to save him, my newsies are all beat up, and most of them cried themselves to sleep. Is that enough reasons?"

I felt tears well up in my eyes again. I blinked  them away and looked past him. The sky became gray as the storm clouds rolled in.

We sat in silence. I think the words I said sunk into him, but of course his ego took over

"Look that's bad and all, but what does that have to do with me?"

"You could've prevented it."

"Don't you dare blame me!" he yelled.

I raised my voice to match his, "I'm going to blame you because it wouldn't have happened if you had helped!"

"Yeah like that would've made a difference!"

"It would've because I could've saved him! But no! Because you were too stubborn to help, k had to watch as they took someone I care about to the Refuge, again!"

He stood there silent. Too stunned to speak. I heard thunder and a light rain started.

"You remember what that's like, right? To watch as they took someone you care about away, trying to reach them, but you're being held back. Watching as everyone around you falls apart and you have to be strong for them because you can't break too. You remember that right? You remember how it was when Ace was taken?"

"Don't you dare mention him," he yelled.

"I'm going to because it's the same damn thing over and over. Because their leader can't listen to reason. Because they're so focused on vengeance that everyone else gets hurt because of them."

I felt water roll down my cheeks, but I wasn't sure if that was from me crying or the down pour.

"Books, you don't mean-". He reached for my shoulder, but I pushed him away.

"Why do you think Mac fell apart when it happened, huh? It's because he felt like it was his fault. And it's happening again. And it's all my fault."

He didn't say anything else just pulled me into a hug and let me cry into his chest.

"I hate you," I cried, pounding my fist in his chest. "I hate you! I hate you!"

"I know," he said softly. "Let it out."

I hadn't cried in years, but it felt so comforting to let everything out while he held me.

"It's all my fault. I could've saved him. I could've went back. I could've switched places with him."

He hugged me tighter. I rested my head in the crook of his neck, while he rubbed my back. He swayed back and forth while humming one of his Irish lullabies softly. I wish I could stay like this forever.

I slowly pulled away from his embrace. I looked up at him. He was completely drenched. His blonde hair turned a dark brown color. His eyes were filled with worry. I wiped the tears off my face and gave him a small smile. He returned it, but he was still weary.

"Well," I said breaking the silence. "I should head back to the lodge house."

"Why don't you stay the night," he offered. "It's raining pretty hard."

I paused for a minute. A night with Spot. On one hand it would take forever to get home and I don't wanna get sick, but on the other, I can't just leave my newsies. For one they've had a hard day and two well they're just dumb. Who knows what trouble they'll get into. But then again kloppman and some of the older boys will hopefully keep them in check.

"I suppose," I answered.

He smiled and took my hand, leading me back inside the lodge house. He opened the door for me and I stepped in. He grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs. Gosh it's been so long since I've lived here. It hasn't changed much. Still the same old leaky roof, crazy stairs, and dusty walls. Yet it feels so different from before.

Spot led to me to his room. I looked around his room, while he dug through his dresser drawers. It used to be a closet, but we made it into a room for the leaders back when Mac and Ace were in charge. They deserved a break from our shenanigans.

"Here," he said breaking me from my thoughts. He tossed me some clothes. "You can change into these. They should fit you, might be a little big, but at least they're dry."

"Thanks," I smiled.

We stood there staring at each other.

"I'll leave now so you can change," he stuttered. He walked out and shut the door behind him.

I changed quickly, throwing my wet clothes on the floor. Gosh it's cold. I changed into his dry ones. They were a bit big, but at least they fit. I hung my went clothes up. I opened the door and looked around for Spot. Spot looked back at me and walked in.

"You can sleep on the bed, I'll sleep on the floor," he said, tossing his shirt off.

"No it's fine, I shouldn't kick you out of your bed." I slid under the blanket

"Ya sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure." I patted the side next to me and Spot crawled in, facing me.

"Night Books," he whispered, closing his eyes.

"Night Spot," I replied.

I tried to sleep, but all I could think about was Crutchy and how he was holding up. Maybe Jack was getting him out right now. Maybe Ace is helping. Oh Ace. I'm sorry I didn't save you.