Falling For A Popstar

21

Lana finally came back home, and went to meet Julie at her apartment when her roommate was gone. She knocked on the door and Julie hugged her and kissed her.

"I missed you"
"I missed you too" Lana replied, but her tone was dry and she seemed down. Julie's eyes met hers and held her face on her face.
"What is it? You look upset"
"I'm not, I'm just a... bit tired, that's all. I barely slept last night, and I barely had any time for myself this past two weeks" She said.
"Good thing you're finally here, babe" Julie brushed her lips above hers. "I cooked your favorite meal" Lana gave her a small grin.
"You?" Julie snorted.
"Idiot"
"What movie are we watching tonight?" She asked as they walked together to the kitchen.
"Death Becomes Her"
"I love you" She said, and Julie kissed her again, with a smile on her face.
"Love you too"

As they watched the movie while they ate, Julie thought about telling her about her idea for this book, while Lana was thinking how ask her about her coming out withouth sounding like she's pressuring her. When the movie ended, she just couldn't hold it anymore.

"Julie I... I have to tell you something" Lana said, looking at the floor. Julie turned to her, and her girlfriend's tone worried her. She just stayed in silence waiting for Lana to say something. "I just... I'm getting tired of hiding, babe. We've been dating for months and I keep having this feeling that you feel ashame of me. I know that you're not but... it hurts to know that you don't want to be seen with me" Lana let out. She closed her eyes and sighed, relieved of letting that out, but scared of the fall out.
"Lana I... I don't know know what to say. I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm not ready to come out yet"
"I know, but what I want to know is if you'll ever be ready to come out?" Julie looked at her confused.
"What?"
"I don't want to pressure you, but I can't stand this. I would like to tell people that you're my girlfriend, I would like to be able to be with you on public, for you to be there for the most important moments of my life. I'm just so tired of hiding, but you seem to be so okay with it, so comfortable" Lana said.
"Are you kidding me? I just like being with you, but I'm not ready to come out yet. And you say you don't want to pressure me, but what the hell am I suppose to think now with what you're telling me? You're literally saying that you're tired of hiding!" Julie said, pretty angry.
"I just wanted to be honest with you" She replied, her eyes meeting jers.
"But what does this mean? Does this mean that if I don't come out soon, you're going to break up with me"
"No!" Lana snapped back. "I never said that. I just... damn, I just wanted you to know" They both stayed in silence. Julie stood up and left to go to her room.
"Look, I think I need to be alone tonight" She said, but Lana grabbed her by the arm.
"Don't... come on, I didn't want to make you feel bad"
"Well, you did. You're my girlfriend, you're suppose to support me, not pressure me"
"But I'm not pressuring you!" Lana snapped back, standing up. "What is it? Am I not allow to tell you how I feel?"
"I didn't say that..."
"Well, you fucking meant it"
"I didn't" Julie said. "I did not mean that"
"You know what? Perhaps it's better if we spend some time appart" Lana begin to walk to the door, and Julie followed her.
"Wait, are you breaking up with me?"
"No, I just think it will be better if you spend some time by yourself and think what you want. 'Cause you clearly don't know" Lana said.
"I want to be with you" Julie assured her. Lana stared at her for a couple of seconds, her green eyes a bit teary.
"I love you" She whispered, and pressed her lips against Julie's, and then she left.

Julie cried in her bed after that, wondering if this meant it could be the end of her relationship.