Unshadowing Pan

The Truest Believer

The fire crackled up into the air as the boys danced and jumped around it. Every so often they would yell out and cheer as they danced. I on the other hand was sitting on a log feeling the heat of the fire touch my arms. I was bored out of my mind watching the boys. I found myself beginning to play with the laces of my old shoes. Something Pan had asked me about earlier.

After trotting after the lost boys for a while we had finally reached an open spot among the trees. It was a campsite filled with cabins made of uneven wood surrounding a large pit of burnt wood. As we approached the campsite the boys all began to go their separate ways, all but Felix who remained at Pan's side.

Pan was always counting on Felix to get stuff done. All she heard was 'Felix this... Felix that'. He was Pan's, second-hand man.

"Where is everyone going?" I asked. Pan turned to look at me. His face filled with pride.

"My boys know to get to their duties once we return to camp after training."

"Training?"

I didn't think Pan would believe in keeping his boys disciplined. On the other hand, I thought they were like animals. I laughed

"You know you ask a lot of questions..." He eyed my clothes as I laughed. "Anyways you'll be staying here for a while so you better get used to it." He walked off before stopping in his tracks, "Oh, and don't worry, my boys will make you feel right at home." 

That's funny, if only I knew what home felt like, Id agree. He left nodding at Felix once he had passed by him. I scoffed.

"I recommend not leaving the camp unless you want to get on Pan's bad side but if you have a death wish be my guest. We could use having fewer people to burden us," said Felix before he also walked off.

  If only I had left. Maybe being on Pan's bad side would at least be something to do instead of sitting here watching the boys dance around.

I watched them jump, shove and yell as one of the boys hit a drum. I found myself wondering if they were like me? Was this the island forgotten children would go to when they were abandoned? Was I so unloved that I was brought here because I died unwanted? There was just one thing wrong with this island. Why are there no other girls?

"Not the dancing type?" Pan had returned from wherever he was off to. He sat down beside me appearing almost worried. He was clenching a dagger in his hand as he leaned his shoulders on his knees.

"What happened?" I asked. If I pretended to be in his side, is get answers.

He turned to look at me, "Worried are we?"

"Interested, actually" I replied.

He stared off into the ground."I'm sure that asking if anything happened, well, it's cause you care."

"Don't flatter yourself," I replied. 

"Sorry love, but you're the one flattering yourself. Don't be foolish, I'm asking because you don't believe and if you stay here, you have to believe." 

It was hard to understand what he was talking about. Believe in what? 

 He watched his lost boys dancing around the pit. He seemed intrigued then noticed another boy who remained sitting, alone. He was the only other one other than me, who refused to dance. His stern look made me curious about the other boy. For example how his clothes were like mine and how we were the only two not dancing. Did he not believe?