Unshadowing Pan

Rainy Day

Surrounding the large rectangle pit, we looked down at the brown glossy casket. It was cold and cloudy. I looked up at the sky listening to the quiet cries around me as the priest continued to talk. I felt a single drop fall on my face as it began to lightly sprinkle. One by one the people closest to Neal scooped up a small amount of dirt with a shovel and released it down on top of the casket.

I watched as Hook came up quietly and dug up a scoop, letting it fall. Pan came up after. He looked at me as he scooped up some dirt. Looking away, he also released the dirt. I flinched as I heard the small thud.

It was Henry's turn as Emma encouraged him to go up lightly giving him a pat on the shoulder. If only he remembered that it was his father, Neal, who was there. Maybe he would be reacting differently. I sighed as he stuck the shovel to the dirt and returned back to us. It was my turn now, I quietly scooped up some dirt and dropped it over the casket. Something about the act of burying Neal made me uneasy. I wanted to stay as soon as I stuck the shovel back into the dirt for the next person,but I couldn't, instead I just walked away without giving anyone a word. I just wanted to get out of there. I couldn't take the faint cries and sobs from others anymore.

It began to finally rain. I sat on a bench and let the rain wet my clothes. I picked up my hood and pulled it over my head. Staring down at the puddle, I gripped the edge of the bench watching the drops of water splash into it.

I sat here for a short while before I felt someone sit next to me, their shoulder rubbing mine. Expecting it to be Pan I rested my head on their shoulder. "I'm sorry," I whispered. 

"There's nothing to be sorry about," they said. But it wasn't the voice belonging to Pan, it was Allen. I quickly shot my head up and started into his eyes. His hair was wet and he looked worried.

"Allen?" I stared at him and his faint rosey cheeks. 

"Well don't you two just look cozy." I turned around and looked up to Pan. He crossed his arms as he stared down at Allen. I remained on the bench, dreading having to explain this and the horrible timing. I shut my eyes cursing to myself.

"Pan-"

Pan didn't let me finish. He stalked right up to Allen and held him by the collar. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't pound you to the ground." He growled.

"Pan. Stop it!" I ordered pulling him back. I made him face me," Look-"

"Save it." He growled walking away. I frowned, he doesn't get to do that again. Not after what has happened.

"Aria," Allen called for me. "I didn't mean to cause any problems. I just wanted to see if you were ok."

I sighed, knowing very well that Allen was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.

"I know, this is my problem...I'll talk to you later," I said rushing away knowing he would understand. I ran and caught up with Pan who walked furiously down the street and into the park. He was as soaked as I was and smiled to myself when I imagined his anger despite the fact that he was dripping. I pulled his arm hoping he would spin around. He was stronger than he looked and pulled his arm back. I knew he wasn't trying to hurt me, because he would have been a lot harsher. And maybe it was our conversations and the anger he enticed in me every time I felt like he was reading me like a book. How furious he would make me when he was speaking the truth, and how I could never actually keep my word and stop talking to him. That maybe I was wrong about hating him and how much it scares me that what happened to Neal could happen again to anyone-- to him. 

"Pan, if you just listen to me," I kept trying to hold on to his arm to keep from walking away again. I could tell he was slowly giving in but how little effort he was putting in keeping me away. It made me smile.