Fuck you (not) (an applemedia fanfic)

📻radio demon📻

I'm sorting through paperwork charlie had left in my office, finishing up everything I needed to get done this week.
I think vox is still at his tower, and Lucifer has remained in bed.
Just like he said he would.

I suppose since I'm done I could go check on him, I doubt he's eaten or taken his medication.
Walking through the halls I stop in the kitchen where charlie is, pulling down some of Lucifers favorite snack, these duck gummies he gets ordered in from gluttony.

"Hi Al!" Charlie squeals.
"You're in a rather eccentric mood, wanna tell me why?"
"I'm just really excited to-uh- go play bingo tomorrow with vaggie! Woohoo! Bingoing!"
I laugh a bit, "alright, well I do hope you enjoy your game of..bingo..I'm gonna go check on your dear father who's chosen not to get out of bed."
"Okay! Have fun!"
She smiles, and I head up to my suite.

I walk into my suite, my..empty..suite.
Where the fuck did Lucifer go?
"Lucifer? Baby?"
I set down the gummies and look around, nothing to tell me where he could possibly be.
What the hell-
"Lucifer!"
Okay how the fuck have I lost my-. I'm not even thinking that word.
I'm allowed to still be in denial.

The door opens and vox walks in, "hey, wheres Lucifer-?"
"You know I was just wondering the same thing really."
"What?!"
"Well it's not my fault-! Usually we have to fight him to get him out of bed! This time he's just vanished."
"Real brilliant, you've managed to lose the devil.."
"Hey it's not my fault!"
He looks down at his phone, clicking through some things.
"I highly doubt it's time for texting."
"Actually I'm tracking him phone. Which puts him rightttt abouttt. Oh fuck."

                                          ...

"The gluttony ring?! Bees party?! Oh fuck- oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck-!!" I pace back and forth.
"Al-"
"This is fucking bad!!"
"Al.."
"Fuck fuck fuck!!"
"Alastor!!"
I stop and look at him, he looks tired.
Fuck-..
"We can go get him..it's fine."
"Yeah- yeah! Let's go!"
"Wait-! Stop. Breathe."
I glare at him, "he's at a fucking dangerous party I really don't think it's the time-"
"Breathe."
I sigh, taking a couple deep breaths.
"Thank you, now we may go."
"Meh meh, meh meh meh meh." I mock.
He chuckles. "That was incredibly adorable."
"Shut the fuck up."

We walk into bees party, looking around.
"Do you see him?"
"No. Let's check that way." Vox points toward what seems to be the main space of the house.
We walk toward that way.
"Luci baby, maybe you should slow down- I haven't seen anyone chug beelzejuice like that since this fucking imp crashed the party- it's not meant for heavy consumption- you know I wouldn't care but you're not being safe."
Its beelzebub.
We walk in and there he is...chugging the most dangerous drink in the entirety of hell.
"Oh! The fucking radio demon! Heyy, and you're the tv man. I'm sorry I tried to give him something that wasn't as strong but he's had so much of it!"
"Babe come here." I pick him up. "What are you doing-?!"
"Oh..hi baby~...bee juice so yummy you know..?"
"I-...no..it's time to go home."
"Noo.." he whines.
"Is that adam." Vox questions.
I look up.
Fucking hell adams here too?!
"Take him home, I'll get the other imbecile."
"Oh-..okay.."
I hand lucifer to Vox and head over to adam..

"Adam you fucking dumbass!" I yell, grabbing him by the ear.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! FUCK! Owwwww!!"
"What the hell are you doing!"
"Having fun!"
"You're supposed to be sober so you can get redeemed!" I lecture. "Let's go!"
"Owww! Okayyyy!" He whines.
"Fucking..dumbass. Idiot." I mutter.

...

I walk up the stairs to my suite, praying this time both of my boyfriends will be in there and not off drunk somewhere. Lucifer.
I open the door, where lucifers standing at the edge of the bed, vox sitting on the edge.
"I really dont believe he deserves a make out session."
They break apart from eachother, Lucifer stumbling back.
Still very drunk.
Though who wouldn't be after that much beelzejuice.
"He is very..persuasive.." vox mumbles, his face all red.
"Well duh he's the devil."
I help him into bed, looking down at him.
"You need to rest."
"Gimme kisses first.."
"You can have one." I lean in and give him a small kiss. "Now lay down."
"More."
"No."
"Please."
"Nu uh."
He gives me a look.
"No more, lay down."
"Please..."
"Not happening."

"Careful that's where he got me." Vox says, laying down.
"Yeah well unlike you I can resist urges-"
I look back at lucifer who's gone fully doll eye mode.
"What the hell is this-!"
"Please..."
"Hun..you need to rest before you get to feeling the hangover."
"Pleaseeee.."
I sigh, giving him another kiss, this one longer.
"Alright, now lay down?"
"I don't wanna."
"To bad."
He gives me those eyes again.
I lean in and give him another kiss, but as I try to pull away her tugs me closer.
Deepening the kiss.
I'm not gonna lie...I'm not fighting it.
I kiss him back, my tongue sliding against his.
"You can totally resist."
I pull away from him.
"Shut up." I brush his hair back. "You're going to bed."
"Ughhhh." He whines.
I climb into bed and lay between them.
And now begins the suffocation.
They're both going to cuddle me all night unpaused.