Complete Package Ako, Fourth! (CPA #1)

Package #14

Kinakabahan ako sa gagawin ko. Nang makita ko yung isang tenant na papasok na sa condominium ay aga-agad akong pumasok, nagmadali so that they won't ask me anymore. Tinuruan kasi ako ng kaibigan ko na ganito ang gawin ko eh, walk as if you're a tenant or you're with a tenant.

Hindi ko alam kung tama ba itong gagawin ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang kahihinatnan nitong gagawin ko. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang aasahan ko.

The ride to his condo should have made me organize my thoughts pero wala man lang akong maisip na kung ano, it got a sole purpose kasi.

Buti na lang may kasabay ako sa elevator who pressed Fourth's floor button. Maski 'yung simpleng pag-press ng button hindi ko na naisip pa. I am a mess!

Kaya, eto ako ngayon, on his doorstep and about to knock. Pero, kinakabahan pa rin ako.

To knock or not to knock? Why does it so hard to answer? Mas mahirap pa ito sa board exam.

But before I can decide, the door decided for me –it opened with a very goodlooking Fourth Marasigan on the door.

Fourth Marasigan on his usual get-up. Fitted shirt, tokong and his Draven shoes. But, gone was the smiling prince I fell in love with. This is now the Celinaless Fourth Marasigan –no smiles just blank stare. At, gusto kong sabunutan si Celina for doing this to him.

Pero, if it's any consolation, he looks better than the last time I saw him.

"I need to talk to you," pinilit kong patatagin yung boses ko kahit na gusto kong manghina at umupo na lang sa isang tabi.

"I need to be somewhere." Malamig at diretso niyang sagot. Para akong magiging yelo sa boses niya.

"But, this can't wait Fourth."

"Celina needs me right now." He said.

Hah! Paano ang needs ko? Okay. Siyempre, the love of his life comes first. It's just like a punch in the face. Ouch!

Pumunta lang pala ako dito sa condo niya para masaktan ng masaktan. Ayaw niya lang naman akong makausap eh. Pinamukha lang niyang I wasn't worthy of his time and Celina is. Pinamukha lang niyang priority niya ang kapakanan ni Celina.

But, a child makes the difference right? Oo! I'll stoop low, I'll play dirty. And, I will use the baby card.

"Fourth, I might be pregnant." I blurted out.

And, there I saw a flash of something different from his blank stare but it was gone and I wasn't sure kung guni-guni ko lang.

Nakatayo lang siya sa harapan ko. And, he stared and stared and stared at me.

After I think what was the longest time someone stared at me then his phone alerted him and broke the trance he was in.

He opened the message. Had an internal battle. Pinaglipat-lipat niya ang tingin sa akin at sa cell phone niya and came to a decision.

Kahit pala gumamit ka na ng virginity at baby card, wala ka pa rin palang laban. Because I am, we are nothing compared to his one real thing.

"I'm sorry."

And that was the most hurtful words someone you love can ever tell you. Ang masakit pa, it's always the parting words na sinasabi niya sa akin. I mean it's always his last words.

Naiwan akong nakatayo, staring blankly at the closed elevator door. Bago sumara nang tuluyan yo'n, nakatitig ako sa kanya. Was it regret I saw? I don't know, everything went blurry and tears started to run down my face. It was as if the world suddenly stopped. Binigyan niya ako ng time para damhin yung sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.