South Park X Reader

Cartman x Reader

Request: cartman x reader best friends that secretly love each other
My response: Ye
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Eric opened his mouth waiting for me to throw a cheesy poof into his mouth. I tossed one into the air and it came back down. But not into his mouth. It hit him smack in the eye. "Ow! What the fuck?"

"It's not my fault you can't catch, Eric."

"You know what I can catch?" I raise a brow and he pops a cheesy poof in his mouth. He stares me directly into my eyes. He was gonna say "I can catch a date"...and he was gonna mean me. I could feel it.

"I can catch STDS from Kenny." He scoffs, shoving his hand in the bag.

"The only way you could catch it is if you perform sexual actions with him."

"...oh. OH!" Eric smacks himself in the face, rolling his eyes. "Ehh...whatever."

"Whatever? So you like Ken?" I ask, eyes widening. Let the shipping begin.

"No! Hell nope! I am not gay. I like girls."

"You ain't got proof!" I hiss, as he stands along with me. I cross my arms and lean backwards, a smug look on my face. "I don't think you've had a girlfriend."

"You had a girlfriend! Lesbian!"(I'm not making fun of the LGBTQA+ community, Cartman is literally this way. I'm pansexual so I am not trying to make fun of it.)

"Scarlett? She was a fucking stalker, Eric!"

"You ain't got proof!"

"Dude. Ask any one. You don't have proof you ain't gay. It's cool if you are but come on, I want to shipppp!"

"I do have proof!"

"And what's that?" Eric stepped closer quickly, wrapping his hands around my waist. He clashed our lips together. I give a shriek of surprise but find myself closing my eyes anyway. He pulls away, smirking.

"That proof enough, bitch?"

"You just kissed me and you're calling me a bitch."

"But you're my bitch."

"You're gonna say that in your wedding vows aren't ya?" He gave a nod and plopped on the couch. I sat next to him and laid my legs on his lap. "What does this make us?"

"What do you fucking think?"

"Eric!" I whine, bringing the fake tears. "You're so mean!" His eyes widen and he stutters out a sentence.

"N-no..don't cry...I- oh no...P-please. Uh-...whatever you do, d-don't cry!" I laugh, and rub the tears away.

"You do care, bitch!" I exclaim, hugging him.

"You little bitch, (Y/N). I thought I made you cry. You gonna paaaaaaay." I snort and release him.

"How so?" I whisper in his ear.

"We're going to the bed room."

"Oh god."

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OMG I didn't realize it was this short and sorry it took so long to get out enjoy