Schizophrenia|| 5sos #Wattys2015

Michael

I could feel my eyes slowly open. I turned my head to the side to look at the man lying in the other bed. I pulled up the sheets and swung my legs over the side of the bed. My feet touched the cold ground. I staggered to my feet. I walked past the man in the bed. His eyes were open, he stared at me as I walked past but he didn't seem to ask questions about me leaving. I shook my head as I walked into the hall. I then saw a nurse come down the hall. "Excuse me ma'am?" I said. She pushed past me. I ran out to the front desk. No one saw me. My head shook violently. "What's going on!" I yelled.

•Flashback•
I sat there waiting for my dad to show up on the other side of the window. I could then see a smiling face walking down the hall. Then my dad sat in front of me. I smiled and reached for the phone. "Hey dad." I said. "Look at you Michael. You're all grown up and I missed everything." I looked down. "And whose fault was that dad?" I said. I closed my eyes. "And don't you dare say drugs, cause it wasn't the drugs dad." He shook his head. "I didn't mean to." I looked up. "Didn't mean to?" I said. "Didn't mean to! Dad, you didn't buy anything for your family. You bought for yourself. You bought drugs and alcohol instead of buying things for your family." I shook my head. "Michael, give me a chance." He said. I laughed. "Dad, mom and I have given you chance after chance but you abused every chance you had. You had way more than three strikes. You've been in and out of here since I was 8. I'm 19 now and I haven't had a dad figure for 11 years." I grinned. "And you wouldn't know how hard it was for me." I felt tears come to my eyes. "Teased for having a dad in rehab. Teased for being fucking alive dad. I was told to kill myself. I was told to be like you. Overdose. That's what the wanted me to do! Mom had to pull me out of school because of that!" I stood up. "Michael, please just let me talk to you." I bit my lip. "No, dad your chances are up and my time with you is up." I hung up the phone and walked away.

I walked out to my mom's car that had been parked outside waiting for me. I got in. She looked at me. "Michael, what's wrong?" I shook my head wiping my eyes. "Nothing." I lied. "Just I want to go home." She nodded putting the car into drive.

Before the car was put into park I opened the door and stepped out. I pulled my key out of my pocket and unlocked the door. I ran to my room and slammed the door. I threw myself onto my bed. I stared at my wall. My vision fogging up from my tears. My breathing was heavy. "I can't. I can't." I said my voice muffled by the pillow. "I can't do this." I heard a tap on my door. "I want to be alone!" I yelled. Then I heard footsteps walk away from my door. "I want to be alone."
•Flashback over•

I ran down the hall towards a doctor. I tapped her shoulder. She didn't turn around. "Ma'am?" I said. No response. I shook my head again and ran farther down the hall.

I then saw an operating room. I pushed the doors open. I walked in. I tried to see who the person was on the table. As I began to walk over I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I stumbled back. "He's bleeding from here!" I heard a doctor yell. I staggered up to the table. My vision blurred. I shook my head. I saw one of the nurses bend down to the person ear. "It's your choice. Live or die. You choose." I looked over her shoulder. There lied a person with a tube down their throat, their torso was opened, and they seemed lifeless. I shook my head. "Come on Michael." I turned my head to look behind me. No one. Then I looked back at the table and realized I was the person.

Note: What. The. Actual. Fuck. Also this part was supposed to be like 'If I Stay' by Gayle Forman.

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