Schizophrenia|| 5sos #Wattys2015

Lily

"Lily, we need to talk about Ryan." I shook my head. "We don't need to talk about him." I said. My therapist leaned forward. "Lily, we need to talk about this." I shook my head again slamming my hand on her desk. "What don't you fucking get about I don't want to talk about it!" I yelled. I then sat back down in the chair. "You do know Ryan doesn't want to leave." I looked up. "Why? He doesn't need to be here. He could have left years ago. But I fucked that up." She shook her head. "You didn't." I rolled my eyes. "Then what was it?" I asked. "He didn't want to leave you."

•Flashback•
"Ryan! Why don't you just fucking leave!" I yelled. Ryan looked at me his eyes wide. "I don't want to leave you here!" He yelled back. "Ryan you don't need to stay because of me!" I said turning towards the wall. "I don't want to leave my only sister!" I turned to look at him. "Why do you fucking care about me!" I yelled. "Cause you're the only one who cares about me! Even if you don't think you care about me you do!" He yelled tears streaming down his face. "Lily, I stay here with you!" I shook my head. "No you won't! You'll go home and have a better fucking life than you will here!" He shook his head. "You're not changing my mind about any of this!" I shook my head. "You've fucked up Ryan. Fucked my life and yours."

I lied there staring at my ceiling. No one was there with me. You fucked up. It wasn't Ryan. It was you. He could be having a better life without you. I shook my head. "Stop!" I screamed. Lily, trust me soon you will lose Ryan for good and you'll never get him back. I grabbed my head. "Stop!" I screamed louder. You will lose him Lily there's no stopping this! The voice grew louder. "Stop already!" I screamed again. I fell to the ground holding my legs to my chest. The voice dyed down. My body shook. I thought about what the voice said:
Trust me soon you will lose Ryan for good and you'll never get him back.
•Flashback over•

I ran to Luke's room. "Open the god damn door!" I yelled. The door opened slowly and Calum stepped out. "It's not a good time." He said. "What's wrong?" I asked. He shook his head. "Nothing. It's just Ashton." My eyes widened. I pushed past Calum. "What the fuck did you do-" my voice trailed off when I saw Luke holding Ashton's head. "No." I mumbled. "No! First Cody. Now Ashton." I shook my head. "What the fuck!" I then pushed past Calum again and ran back for my room. "Lily!" I heard Calum yell. Then I heard footsteps running up behind me.

"Lily, stop!" Calum yelled. I felt his hand on my shoulder. I grabbed his wrist. "No! I can't stop running from my life! This is what happens to me! My dad died. Then my brother, Jake. Then Cody the only other one who cared about me. And now Ashton the one person who understood what it was like to feel abandoned!" I shook my head. "I understand what it's like!" Calum yelled. "What! What do you understand!" Calum looked down. "My dad he left. My sister, Mali she told me we had to run away from home. My mom she's fucking crazy. She doesn't care about me. She abandoned me for a week with no note. Nothing. Not a trace." I looked down. "I didn't know." Calum shook his head. "Why don't you think before you speak, you don't know me at all Lily. You don't know anything about me." Calum turned away. I grabbed his hand. He pulled it away. "No. I don't know about you anymore Lily." He said. "I don't know if I love you."

I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked down at the sink. I picked up the blade. I shook my head. Do it. The voice said in my head. No one will miss you. I threw the blade down onto  the ground. "No."

I walked out of my room and walked back down to Ryan's room. I knocked on the door. No answer. I pushed the door. It opened. I walked in. "Ryan?" I said. He wasn't there. I shook my head. I heard a loud bang come from the bathroom. I ran over to the door and turned the handle. It was locked. I banged on the door. "Ryan!" I screamed frantically. "Ryan!"

Note: Now Ryan! What the fuck!

Asylum News: I don't know I didn't check it at all. If someone wants to tell me that would be great too.

As always feedback is greatly appreciated and hope you enjoyed.

(I'm going to start a goal thing again.)

Goal for this part: 6-10 votes 5-8 comments