Something New | Taraji x Fantasia

Reservations and Revelations

Taraji POV

I sit in my car for a full five minutes before I force myself to open the door. I look back making sure I have what I need, my purse and my phone. 

I strolled to the door, it's not that I don't want to be here. If anything, after last week, I know I need to be here. But something about walking back into that room, about being seen again, about having to say things that I usually keep locked away, makes my chest tighten.

Still, I made a promise to myself. I showed up. That counts for something.

Dr. Stone is waiting for me, sitting in her usual chair with that same calm energy that makes me feel like I can't hide—even if I want to. She greets me with a nod and a small smile as I settle onto the couch, crossing my legs.

"Taraji, how have you been since our last session?"

I exhale, leaning back slightly. "Honestly? I've been thinking a lot. About what we talked about."

She folds her hands in her lap. "And how do you feel about what we discussed?"

I chew on the inside of my cheek, trying to find the words. "It was... a lot. Realizing how much I doubt myself, how much I talk myself out of good things before they even have a chance. I kept replaying our conversation in my head, and it hit me—I've been doing this for years."

Dr. Stone nods, her expression steady. "It's not easy recognizing patterns, especially ones that have been ingrained for a long time. But recognizing them is the first step."

I let out a breathy chuckle, shaking my head. "Yeah, well, now I don't know what to do with it. Like, okay, I know I overthink love, I know I second-guess my choices, but how do I stop? How do I just... trust that I won't mess it up?"

She tilts her head slightly. "That's a good question. Do you believe this relationship is different?"

I feel my stomach tighten, the way it always does when I think about Fantasia and what we have. "Yeah. I do."

"Why?"

I hesitate. Not because I don't have an answer, but because I have too many. "Because it just feels different. Because I don't have to pretend with her. Because she doesn't just hear me—she sees me. And because I... I feel safe with her."

The words come out quieter than I expect, and I realize how much weight they hold. How rare that feeling has been for me.

Dr. Stone studies me. "Did you feel safe in your past relationships?"

I swallow, shifting slightly. "Not like this."

"Tell me about them."

I let out a slow breath, my fingers fidgeting in my lap. "Terrence was the one I thought would last. We were good—until we weren't. He made me feel like I wasn't enough sometimes, like I had to prove I was worth loving. And I guess I got used to that feeling." I pause, glancing at her. "Then there was Malik. That one... that was toxic. He knew exactly what to say to make me doubt myself, make me feel like I wasn't doing enough to keep him happy."* I shake my head, jaw tightening. "And Derek? I think I loved the idea of him more than the actual man."

Dr. Stone is quiet for a moment, then asks, "And now, with Fantasia, do you still feel like you have to prove yourself?"

I pause.

I want to say no. I almost say no. But my hesitation says it all.

"Taraji," she says gently, "where does that hesitation come from?"