Heaven and back

Consequences

Shane's pov

With rapid breathing and a difficulty to move i shot up wide awake gasping for air. Another nightmare ghosting over my sleep. A groan left my lips as i looked around trying to ground my thoughts. To calm down and see that it was just a dream. A dream where Nika congratulated McNaughton and not me. A dream in which she left with my rival for a drink while i knew there would be more leading to it. The steal that would make me crumble to the ground. The one thing that could destroy me utterly and completely. I looked at Nika's figure. She was just sleeping peacefully. I squint a bit since my eyes hurt from the much crying of last night and the fucking headache that didn't seem to die down and was not making things easier for me right now. Disappointment and the fear of abandonment were the only things i could feel right now. Azzi laid beside me with the covers up to her nose and Nika was sleeping on the edge of the couch in front of the bed. I checked the time and it was currently 6 am. I slowly got up and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I stood in front of the coffee machine waiting for my cup to be done. My mind was too crowded to be honest. Not only from the news I got last night but from the nightmare and the constant pressure of literally everything lately. I stared into space for a good minute thinking about how could i let this happen? How could i give her the space to even try and surpass me? How could i fuck this up this bad? Why did i even let myself get loose like that in the first place. Before i could blame myself for even more things the sound of the machine brought me back to reality. I sat on the couch and took a sip of my coffee before opening my laptop to see what was new about McNaughton. She has pretty good stats. And she is really popular in the ice hockey community. Now that i think about it Harvey used to idolize her a lot back in the day. We would hang out almost every day. She used to be my best friend. But evn though she was my friend she still brought McNaughton up as her idol and not me. That's what hurt most. She idolised her over me. My first "fan", my best friend believed more in her than in me. I sighed as i got up and went to Nika's room. Paige was laying there in my side of the bed curled up in the sheets clearly cold. I sat beside her and pulled the covers to help her warm up a bit. She nuzzled against the blanket in her sleep due to the change of temperature that was clearly much needed. I studied her features closely. She looked kind of troubled. She knew about the rivalry. There's no way she didn't. It was all over the UConn news. And knowing Paige she checks the news according to UConn at least three times a day. What I don't get is why she wouldn't tell me when she found out. What is it that made her hesitate in the first place? I changed quickly and left before i could wake her up. I went to the other room and sat down beside Nika. Her hand was hanging off the couch she was on the edge of the couch and the sheet's were pulled down. Her hair messy and her light snoring filling the room. I covered her with the blanket again so she wouldn't get cold and put her hand inside the covers adjusting the cover the right way. I placed her a bit further into the couch so she wouldn't fall and got up. I placed a soft kiss on the top of her forehead and left silently trying not to wake her and Azzi up. I felt like i couldn't breathe inside the dorm. The moment i stepped outside of the building and took a deep breath i felt like a weight was being lifted off my shoulders as i started running. I had no idea where i was going. I just wanted nothing more than leave from the dorm complex. To get away from everything and everyone. Run away from my problems like i always did. Especially from UConn. And that is exactly what i did. I started running until i couldn't no more. I run until i found a lake. I knew there was a lake outside UConn but i didn't realise i had gone that far until i saw the dock and the clear water. I stood there stunned by the beautiful view in front of me. I walked around encountering the soft flow of the water and the peace it helped me find. It was indeed really beautiful and calming here. It was the kind of place that the only thing that could be heard was the soft flow of the water. Nothing else. No whistles to worry about. No clicks from the cameras. No fans. Nothing. It was my idea of peace. I sat on the end of the dock letting my feet move back and forward to the space above the surface of the water. I felt like a kid and smiled a bit at the thought having missed the feeling of being a child. I blame myself for all of it. I let myself go. I didn't care about the one thing that I loved most. And it's on me. Not on Nika. Not on this random person. Just me. I am responsible for my own actions I'm an adult and i need to start working more if i want to succeed. A big sigh left my lips as i leaned back and let my mind go as it started racing over everything that has happened the last few days. The only thing i can do from now on is train. Train like there isn't tomorrow. I have made a decision to be the best player of all. I gotta stick to it. I give my word on god that i will. I have much more to prove than just my skills. And not only to myself but the world too. Because awards don't come only if you believe in you. They come only if the others believe in you as well. I've got two years at UConn and I'm planning on being the best player of the year both of those years.

Nika's pov

"Nika. Nika wake up" i groaned at the voice turning around. I had fallen asleep pretty late last night and a surging pain run around my head making me feel weaker than i should be feeling. Mostly because i couldn't sleep due to the adrenaline but also because i was watching Shane trying to be there when she would wake up but the exhaustion took over me somewhere sometime in the night. "Bro it is almost 11 pm. You got classes to go to. Don't skip again" the voice said again annoyingly. "Yeah yeah okay mom" i said sarcastically while shooing the person away. "Bro if you do not get up in the next minute I swear" i opened my eyes and saw Azzi above my head. "Azzi on god I'll kill you one of these days" i murmured before slowly getting up. "Yeah sure. Thank me later when you don't get your ass kicked for being late again in lectures" she said heading inside. I got up and headed to the bathroom to take some tylenol and splashed some water on ny face before going inside as well. "She's not here is she?" I asked already knowing the answer. Paige looked up at me from the couch and slowly let out a sigh as she shook her head. "Worst thing is that she has unactivated her location. I can't see where she is" she said looking at her phone again. "She needs some time and some space. Let her have them. I know how she's feeling right now. She has talked to me about stuff like this before" i explained and went to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. Don't get me wrong i am pretty worried for her. But i also knew that by just pressuring her more we wouldn't manage to do anything. The first sip of coffee went down my throat slowly softly bringing me that type of calmness i needed most right now. I made my way to my room picking my outfit for the classes. I decided on some jean shorts and a pink crop top. I took my bag and headed out after greeting my friends. The lectures went by easily since the only thing i did today was think about what i can do to help my girl. But nothing came to mind at all. There wasn't anything i could do. That was the worst thing of all. The whole day went by and still there wasn't any sign from Shane being alive or not. I felt bad. Not only because i knew how she's feeling. But because i was the reason she was in this position in the first place. All of our drama and all the shit going on she didn't have time to train. To prove herself to everyone. But mostly to prove herself her worth. She wouldn't care if she knew that she was better but right now all she can feel is that someone's better than her. And that is what destroyes her utterly and completely. Guilt was the only thing that had me walking around right now. It was 8pm. I left class an hour ago. Azzi called to ask if i knew something new and she told me she hadn't any news and neither did Paige. I slowly made my way to my dorm hoping that somehow dhe would appear in our room waiting for me to cuddle. But nothing like that happened. The dorm was empty. Azzi and Paige were to their own dorm and i was left alone. Again. Hoping that wherever she was she would be okay. With slow movements I made my way to the kitchen after I changed to a grey pair of sweatpants and a sports bra. I decided to cook a bit to have my mind occupied as much as possible. I put on some music on the radio and started boiling the water as i prepped what i needed for the sauce i was planning on making. Soon i had everything ready and the only thing left was the spaghetti. I put them in the casserole and waited for them to get ready. My phone started to ring and when I looked at it Shane was calling me. I quickly wiped my hands on a towel and answered the phone "Hello?" No one answered at first. But not long after a cough was heard. "Hi Nik. I just wanted to call to tell you I'm okay and that i just need some time alone. I will be at my dorm if you need anything but only if it's an emergency. Otherwise i would much prefer not ot talk to anyone right now. Please don't tell anything to the girls. I can't deal with Paige right now" she explained and i sighed as i tried gathering my thoughts. "Yeah. Yeah okay. Just be careful baby. You know you're better just show it. Stay safe and whatever you need call me alright?" I said and she said an 'okay' before we said bye and hung up. I shook my head to my self as i placed the phone down and let the spaghetti off the stove and onto the counter. I served me a plate and saved the other for another time. After i put on the sauce i made i poured me a glass of wine and sat on the couch as i decided to watch pretty little liars since i had left it in the middle. Who says you need a partner to have a chil and romantic night. I'm doing just fine by myself. It's really important to find peace by being by yourself. Makes everything ten times better. That's my daily piece of advice for y'all.

Alright so i know y'all prob hate me cause I haven't posted. I have no reason for it i just needed a break. Although i really missed you! Hipe y'all liked this chapter. I'm also preparing a chapter for my Paige book. An working on things on my Tumblr so you should check both of them out! Please don't ghost read like or comment and I'll see y'all in the next update!

xoxo your favourite author 💕