Pandora's Box: The Ultimate GameCube Tier List

#17: SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom

Rating: E

Players: 1

Price Range: ~$20 USD

An original 3D collect-a-thon platformer based on SpongeBob SquarePants.

Easily the best SpongeBob game.

Remember what I said about the Movie game lower on the list?

Well, that game has a lot of its bones from this game.

A great one from this generation.

I mean, sure, it really depends on if you like the show, which is a vast amount of people like when talking about the first three seasons, which are iconic and classic. Quotable and quite funny, it is a great trip down memory lane even if it never recaptured that magic afterwards.

And so, what about the game?

Well, it is quite familiar, but that's okay, as it is SpongeBob through and through, and has some great mechanics of its own.

The game is a 3D collect-a-thon platformer where you must collect Golden Spatulas (for some reason, I guess) in order to stop the robot menace set upon Bikini Bottom by Plankton.

First thing I can say I like is the movement and physics.

My gosh, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy are all so buttery smooth to control and play around with.

There is however one other platformer on this list that is better in this regard...

Still, the game feels tight and responsive, always quick to act in how you move on the control stick or push a button to just jump around.

Each of the characters are also unique in their own way. Patrick is slower and have limited movement options, but is more puzzle-oriented, Sandy is more so one who is more mobile and can hover with her lasso (for...some reason), and SpongeBob is a bit of the two with more focus on combat with his Bubble Bowl and the Cruise Bubble.

For a collect-a-thon platformer, it doesn't do anything all that new, but it doesn't have to.

For what it is trying to be, it does it pretty well.

Music is also very memorable, with not a single track being terrible, with the hub world music being insanely catchy and iconic.

And, like Super Mario 64, you have complete choice as to how you tackle the game to get the minimum of seventy Spatulas to see the credits.

However, that isn't the only thing that you need to proceed with the game's stages.

You also need to search for Patrick's Socks to trade with him for Spatulas and...Shiny Objects...to either pay for tolls to progress or for secret areas for Socks or Spatulas or to trade for a Spatula with Mr. Krabs, which in of itself is one of the most time-consuming tasks in the entire game without glitches.

However, unlike Super Mario 64, there is an actual currency here, so at least it's different in that regard.

The level variety is also not too shabby too.

Some are much more open-ended, while others are much more...linear.

Of course, these are done pretty well, with the more nonlinear stages, such as Rock Bottom and Downtown Bikini Bottom, having a lot of stuff to do, and having the ability to teleport to any Spatula you have discovered, even if you can't get it yet, was a great design choice.

Enemy variety is also great, with the wide selection of robots taking advantage of the abilities of the characters, with a character taking care of them easier than others, which is nice.

There's a hundred Spatulas to collect, so there is definitely some meaty content here.

For a licensed platformer, it makes complete sense why many consider this a cult classic.

However, there are definitely some things that need to be addressed here as well.

First of all is the obvious. If you don't like SpongeBob, including the first three seasons, then the game's writing and world won't have the impact it would otherwise.

Also, some of the levels are not...particularly good.

Kelp Forest is easily the worst level in the game. Not that it's bad or anything, but because it's basically death by a thousand cuts.

It is way too convoluted and has some of the most annoying and tedious Spatulas in the whole game, and most damning of all is that it looks awful.

My gosh, is it so unbelievably dark. Playing this without blinds or curtains on your windows is an absolute nightmare and the whole level is almost always skipped for me on casual playthroughs.

There is also this one Spatula in the Mermalair that is infamous for a good reason. The one where you have to manipulate this mechanism to get this giant ball into this cup to release the Spatula is incredibly obnoxious. Not only is there so little error allowed, but it's also very time-consuming if you fail. The physics on the ball are also ridiculous.

Sand Mountain is also not very good. It is at least different than the rest, as the Spatulas are obtained by these slide courses, except that you need to open those slides with Shiny Objects, creating the second sink for your hard-earned currency to waste time on besides Mr. Krabs, which I mentioned was pretty rough all things considered.

Speaking of which, all of the show's voice acters are here except Clancy Brown and the one for Mermaid Man, and it is extremely jarring and just plain criminal to hear another person imitating them. Not to say that they do a bad job, but it is kind of messed up regardless.

Some of the graphics also leave something to be desired.

Sometimes, especially in Jellyfish Fields and Downtown Bikini Bottom, some locations just look like the stage is in a barren wasteland, with some of the lighting on the geometry being very inconsistent, with some being much darker than it should.

This was because the game was rushed. It's amazing we got a game this good, especially given the low head count, budget, and time involved, but these parts definitely show that a few corners had to be cut.

Then there is the remaster...

While Rehydrated is obviously more accessible and is graphically better, it just feels wrong, likely due to the floatier physics and the softening of the movement systems, which I don't like. Also, the cut multiplayer mode with a robotic Squidward from the original was created from the ground up, but it is genuinely awful. The most boring and repetitive multiplayer I've ever seen. No challenge whatsoever, and is unrewarding when you finish it and when you play it. Truly a waste.

Still, it isn't a bad option if you don't have the original version of the game.

Overall, Battle for Bikini Bottom is a much better game than it has any right to be, and is a childhood memory of many people, including yours truly. For the price, you couldn't go wrong, even if Rehydrated exists and it's a multiplatform game. Despite the limitations given the game's scope, it is truly among the greats in terms of licensed games.

However...