(Time lapse)
-----------------------------------
"The last embers of duty are often silence, surrender, and ash."
----------------------------------
Mata Kunti delivers the information that she is leaving very suddenly, one night.
Subhadhra nearly faints. Uttara hold her, her voice lined with shock.
The wires in my head go whizzing with thoughts and memories and regrets stacked on a top the other.
She says it with such simplicity.
Parikshit asks her where she is leaving. She does not reply.
"Have you told my husbands?" I ask. She shakes her head in a no.
I take her to my room, nearly dragging her with force. My husbands look at us surprised, also confused by the pair of us.
"What is it Kalyani?" Yudhisthra questions.
"Mata Kunti says she is leaving for vanaprastha," and then I choke out "tomorrow."
"Why are you telling us this late, maa?" Arjuna asks, pulling his mother into his embrace.
"If I had told you earlier what would have changed?" she questions and then silently says "Some things are best left unsaid."
Yudhisthra clenches his jaw.
Arjun pulls her closer and tighter, putting his neck in the crook of his mother's neck. The great archer now just a son, just a son.
I watch as all her sons one by one tumble into her hold, holding her with desperation.
I nearly cry.
This is so overwhelming to me. Kunti is someone I deeply respect, having brought up five sons on her own, keeping them safe in a world that always wanted to hurt them, having to hide a secret the burnt her all the while she held it, being blamed for it later, she is woman, a woman I have always looked up to.
I watch as she holds each of her sons, she is smiling. Nakula and Sahadeva are the last ones to let go.
----------------------------------
That night I find her in the Tulsi courtyard, she singing her voice is so bitter sweet, like the rough edges of silk.
"Were you ever going to say goodbye to me?" I question.
She looks up sharply and come closer to me. She doesn't answer.
She never answers the questions that matter.
"Am I not like a daughter to you too?" I ask my voice sharp and full of hurt.
"You are the only mother I know, why can't you just love me? I let myself be shared just like you and your sons said. I did everything for you, didn't I?"
"Are you not happy with my sons?" she asks, her voice seems so noble tonight.
"I am happy, but I was also in pain." I say sharply.
"My sons are my life, I gave my entire life to you Draupadi." she says indignantly as if dismissing me.
"Mata, why are you leaving when I need you the most. Why huh?" I ask my barely contained sorrow pouring out.
"My dear," she says cupping my cheek, "You do not need me. You never did." she says, her voice both soothing and grating.
I hold the hand that cradles my cheek, my voice breaking into the night.
YOU ARE READING
Draupadi
Ficção Histórica--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dharma was the cloth I held closest. I was draped in dharma. No one could ever take that from me. No amount of pu...
