Together: BTS X Reader 8th Member

Chapter 77

"I'm cleared to dance!" I shouted as I walked into the dorm, followed by a chuckling Jin. "Finally!" Jimin shouted while running up to me and picking me up. "Put her down, she just got cleared, I don't want you hurting her," Jin said in a fed-up tone. "I'm fine, see I can dance again," I mumbled as I started to do the run choreography. "Stop dancing, and go get ready for bed." I decided not to argue with Jin, and instead, I walked into my room to start getting ready for bed.

Once I was in my room, I changed into my pajamas and lay on my bed with my notebook in my lap. A sudden knock on the door startled me. "We have a couple of promotion stages over the next few days, so make sure you get lots of sleep tonight," Namjoon explained from the door frame. I nodded as I turned my gaze back down to the book resting on my lap. "What's that?" he asked as he walked into the room and sat on the edge of my bed. "My lyrics book. I'm not planning on actually releasing anything soon, but I'd like to have some stuff written, you know," I explained to the best of my ability, which caused him to nod his head along at my words.

"I'm sort of stuck, though," I mumbled while gently biting my lip. "Well, what direction do you want to go in for this album, or song?" I shrugged at his words as I skimmed over the few notes I had written down. "I'm not sure. Honestly, it's a reflection of my current feelings. I feel like I've been waiting for certain things to happen, but they aren't happening, so it's like a what are you waiting for kind of situation." I looked up to look at Namjoon to see that he was staring at me with wide eyes, which caused me to let out a quiet snicker. "You've got a lot of emotions. I like it," My scoff turned into a full-on giggle at his words. "I'm glad someone likes it. Sometimes I feel like I can't be my most authentic self, especially around all the cameras a microphones." Namjoon nodded slowly at my words before letting out a breathy sigh. "Go to bed (N/N). You need it," I nodded as I closed my book and positioned myself to lie on my bed before Namjoon got up and walked out of my room, closing the door behind him, leaving me to fall into a deep slumber. 

I fluttered my eyes open when I felt someone shaking me by the shoulders. "You sure do sleep a lot," Haneul said as he ran his finger through my hair. The pure feeling of him touching me made me feel gross; his touch wasn't comforting or gentle like the touch of the members; it was rough and weird. "Your phone has been going off nonstop," he muttered while handing me my phone. I grabbed it from him with a slightly worried look on my face, as I knew who the person blowing up my phone was. "Stop furrowing. You're gonna get wrinkles, then no one's gonna like you. You have a pretty face, let's keep it that way." Even his words made me feel uncomfortable. "Struck a nerve, did I? You know I'm right, now get dressed, please," he muttered while pointing at the clothing rack nearby. I nodded as I stood up and grabbed the black shorts, white shirt, and black leather jacket that Haneul had picked out for me. "Is everything okay?" Jimin asked as he walked up to me with furrowed eyebrows. "Everything's fine," I muttered while sliding shorts up my legs and buttoning them. "You don't look okay," He replied in a sassy tone. "I'm fine!" I snapped at him. His face turned from his usual closed-eye smile to a frown with slightly furrowed eyebrows. "I'll leave you alone then." he didn't even give me the chance to apologize before he walked away, leaving me with my thoughts and a phone that wouldn't stop going off. "What was that about?" Jungkook asked as he was getting dressed next to me. "Uh, nothing. I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed," I replied, trying to give a valid yet believable excuse. "Why? It's just a promotional stage. You've done these so many times." I couldn't help but let out a breathy sigh at his words. I hated nothing more than lying and making the members upset, but in the moment, it felt like the only thing I could do. "You know that if you need anything, you can tell me, right?" His words stuck with me like they never had before. I simply nodded before I walked away to a secluded area of the dressing room where I started warming up my vocals and stretching. 

"Have you ever thought about the fact that you stick out... and not in a good way?" Hanuel commented as soon as I sat down at his station after the performance. "What?" I replied in a confused tone. I had never thought about my appearance in the group, or the fact that I might've remotely stuck out. "I mean, you're the only girl, and your dancing skills seem to have taken a toll." 

"I just got back from an injury. I had to dance a little bit easier," I mumbled as I grabbed a makeup wipe and started removing my makeup. "All I'm hearing are excuses. I think you should've spent some more time training." My eyes subconsciously widened at his words, as I stopped all of my movements. "I mean, how long did you even spend training? A few months? Seems like you were only added to the group to draw attention. You are hot after all." I never in my life wanted to yell and scream at him more than I did in this moment. It felt like he was just saying the most crule things he could say to me. "Why aren't you saying anything? Or are you finally understanding that I'm right? You're only here because of your looks." In that moment, I felt the world around me become distorted and start spinning. It felt like everything in my life was getting out of hand, and that I was a spectator in my own life. I felt utterly and completely helpless.