In Love With My Best friend

Who are we

One days later----  

I've been staying at Josh's old house for now. I just need to clear my head. I need privacy and peace. I turned my phone off and ignored any phone calls I got. Josh's parents have a lot of wine and burbon here so I've been drinking that to ease the pain. Also I've been getting high and I'm back  to cutting myself. I'm glad I took Sophia's weed and whatever else he had because now it won't go to waist. I'm using it. I don't think I wanna go to school today. I go over into the kitchen and pour me a glass of burbon and drink it. Suddenly I hear the door knob jiggle. I hurry and put the burbon away and tried to clean the blood off my wrist. But it was too late. I turn around and see Joshua.

"How did you find me?" I asked

"Ashley, I know you and I know that if you ran away that you would come somewhere safe and a place like home." He explains

"Yeah." I said. I knew that Josh would hate me if he saw I was cutting again so I hid my hands behind my back

"Let me see your wrist." He says

"What?!" I asked. How could he know?

"Ash, I've known you for years and I know that when things get bad you begin to cut. So let me see." He says. Then I show him my scars. He holds my wrist and then he plants a kiss in them. I was expecting him to yell at me and kill me but he hugged.

"Please let go of me." I said as I started to panic.

"No, let me love you Ashley. Let me love you." He says. Then he hugs me tighter. I began to cry on him. "Are you drinking?" He asked

"What? Kinda, I had a glass or two." I said. More like I had more then I can count but he doesn't have yo know about that or the drugs. He just nods hid head and grabs my arm.

"Come on Ashley, I'm taking you home." He says

"No, I don't wanna go back there. I can't go back there. I need privacy and space. Does my mother know about me, you know?" I asked

"I don't think so, no one told her. But Liam knows." He tells me.,

"Damn it. Fine, but I'm not going back to that house." I said.

"Just come on." He says then he grabs my arm.

"Ow, be careful." I said as he was touching my scars.

"Well maybe you shouldn't have cut yourself." He says as he keeps pulling me.

"Um wait I think I left my phone in there and my clothes." I said

"Ok, well hurry up and pack." He says then I run back in the house. I was lying. All I really wanted was my drugs and the alcohol but since I'm here I guess I'll pack up and leave. My suitcase is a good place to hide them. It has many compartments. I packed my bags and went to the car.

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"Wait, where are we going? I thought we were going home." I said as I look  at the direction we were going.

"We are." He says. Then he keeps driving.

"Ok but you're taking a whole other direction." I state.

"Oh I know." He says. 

"Ok, why are you so secretive. Are you taking me to school?" I asked

"No. Not yet. You need some time to get yourself back together." He says. Then we pull up to this huge house.

"Ok, where are we?" I asked with a nervous laugh.

"Home." He says. Then he gets out the car and open my  car door.

"Home? Joshua, is this our house? Is this the house you bought for us?" I asked

"It sure is. Here let me take your bags while you tour the house." He says. Then he takes my bags. I walked around the house. It was huge. How could he afford something like this? It had a huge pool in the back yard and the backyard was still huge and filled with fresh and clean grass. I walked in the house and it was even more beautiful. Fully furnished, beautiful chandelier in the entry room and the dinning room. Marbled floor and some carpet. It was so bright and white in the house. The house color skem was black, gray blue and white. I was already in love with the house. Then I saw Liam holding the twins.

"What is going on?" I asked

"This, is your new home." Liam says. Then I start to cry.  Suddenly I saw Joshua.

"Ashley can we talk?" He asked.

"Yea, sure." I said. Then I walked upstairs. "What's up?" I asked

"You doing drugs now?" He asked. Then he pulled the drugs out my suitcase.

"Those.. Those aren't mine." I said

"Oh really, why are they in your bag and why are they half empty." He asked

"I took them from Sophia so she wouldn't do drugs again. That's it." I said

"That's it?" He asked

"Tha-that's it. I-I-I promise." I said

"Oh, now you crossed the line. Saying you promise. I know you're lying because you're shaking your leg and studdering. So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna take the children and get them away from a soon to be drug addict." He says

"Josh, no! You can't take my babies away from me, you didn't push them out of your penis!" I said

"I don't care and actually I did that's how they became fully grown into babies." He tells me.

"Oh my god. You know sometimes, I wish we never met in Kindergarten. That was the downfall in my life." I said. After I said that I immediately regret it. The hurt in his eyes was so painful. What happened to me. Why would I say that to him?

"Don't be made at me because you let them same guy rape you twice. You know what, maybe this isn't your home. I bought it with my hard earned money and a small loan from my parents. This isn't your home. But, when the Ashley I know comes back, tell her I said what's up and she can come home any time." Josh says. He then zips my suitcase up and throws it at me. "Now leave." He says.

"Fine. But I doubt you'll ever see me again. Oh and my kids they'll see me for the rest of their life." I said. Then I walked downstairs took the babies and walked out of that beautiful house. I stole his car to drive myself and myself home. He can't take my babies. Who does he think he is? Who have I become?