In Love With My Best friend

Something Old and New

one day later----

I wake up to something heavy on my back. I turn around and see Jake trying to reading book.

"Hey bud, what are you doing here?" I asked as I shook him off.

"Nothing, I wanted to wake you up but u didn't wake up so I sit on you." He says.

"Mmm, ok. Well I'm up now. Are you hungry? Did you eat?" I asked

"No, everyone's still sleeping and dad left the house. Something about needing a walk." He says

"Oh... Ok.. I can cook you some food. How about eggs, pancakes and bacon?" I asked and he nodded his head excitedly. "Ok, give me some time to get ready then I'll be right with you." I said

"Ok, mommy, what happened to your arm?" He asked as he pointed to the cuts to on my arm.

"Oh, um... I fell down some stairs and it cut my wrist, and then I cut myself with a knife while trying to cut potatoes." I said. Worst lie ever but he's only two.

"Oh. Can I kiss you boo boo like you and dad kiss mine?" He asked. I almost cried. I just nodded my head. He then pulls my arm to his mouth an kissed it soft and sweetly.

"Thanks, Jakey." I said then I kissed his forehead and got washed up and ready for the day.

a few minutes later---

Long sleeves today. Good thing it's kinda chilly out. I go to the kitchen and fix something to for my kids and I. I am a mother, I gotta stop with the cutting and suicidal thoughts. I need to be there for my family. Including Joshua. By this time Liam was up and I was done cooking and making their plates. I gave them their plates and ate my food. Suddenly Josh walks in the house. I instantly feel uncomfortable.

"Hello." He says as he take his ear buds out his ear. I don't wanna talk to him, but my children are around me so I have to be polite.

"Hi." I said simply. I then got up and went up stairs. Uggh he gets on my nerves. God why did he have to punch that guy in kindergarten.

"Can we talk?" He says scarring me out of thoughts.

"You scared me. What do you want to talk about?" I asked

"Last night. I barely remember what I did but I know I said and did some horrible things an I am so sorry." He says. I do a small chuckle.

"It's funny because you get to not remember what all happened yesterday but everyone else has to remember everything that occurred. I'm not getting married because of you. I have no possible way of getting back with Ryan if I wanted to. You made me seem like the biggest, most selfish whore in the world! I had to look at myself in the mirror and see who I am! How dare you ruin my relationship with him! He was the one person who made me feel like I belonged in the world and now he's gone! Yes I had sex with you but that's all it should've been. I wish you hadn't have punched that kid in the arm back in kindergarten!" I yelled then I walked out of my room my eyes pouring with tear filled with anger. I ran out the house and took a walk, trying not to show my tears to the other people that were out. As luck would have I bump into someone.

"Woah, you ok?" He asked. He must've been a beauty sent from heaven.

"Um, yea, I'm fine." I said. Then he nodded his head and continue walking. Oh my. Who is he and when will I see him again? Ok, Ashley you just got out of like two relationships, Don't jump into a new and fast relationship.

Josh's p.o.v----

What just happened? All I know is she just told me that she wished she never met me. I thank god every day that I met her and she wishes she hadn't met me? Wow. That really hurt. I hardly remember anything I said last nigh. All I know is that I hurt Ashley and that's the last thing I wanted to do. I might've just lost her forever.

"Did mom tell you about her boo boo? Is that why you guys were yelling?" Jake asked

"No, but what boo boo?" I asked.

"She fell down some stairs and she cut herself with potatoes by accident. Now she had boo boo's like cuts and scratches on her arm." He replies. Cuts and boo boo's on her arm. Oh no, not again. No not my Ashley. She can't go back to that. Oh god it's all my fault. I need to talk to her. I need to know what's going on in her head. Or maybe I should stop. Stop caring, stop messing with her and completely cut her feelings off. The only way we come together is by the kids. They are our only connection. Maybe that's what I will do. Cut her off.

Ashley's p.o.v----

Oh my god, on my way back home I got that guys number and I gave home mine. His name is Aaron. That's all I know about him right now. Well if he calls me then we'll get to know each other more. Thank you for lifting my mood. Oh my god. I really needed that.

"Mommy, where did you go?" Liam asked as he hugged me.

"No where honey, I just needed to take a walk." I said.

"Hey, Ash, can we talk?" Josh asked

"Didn't we do enough of that?" I asked

"No you did, now it's my turn." He says.

"I don't want to hear what you have to say. I'm done with you. As far as I'm concerned you just some old leftovers that I can't throw out." I said.

"Wow, Ok. You wanna be like that, fine. We wont talk to each other unless it concerns the kids." He says

"Way ahead of you." I said as I walked to the stairs to go to my room.

"And by the way, I'm not gonna be here for you when you decide to constantly cut yourself again." Joshua says. I look down at him and say, "And guess what I don't care. And do you know who would've been here for me? Ryan. Too bad that didn't play out right." I continued walking upstairs and started day dreaming about Aaron. Maybe now I can get over Josh. Maybe with Aaron. Suddenly my phone starts vibrating. I look down and see Aaron texted me. I smile and open it. It said hey just thinking bout you -A I smile and texted him back. Maybe this is the beginning of my true happiness.