𝐏𝐨𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

HER LAST EPISTLE FOR HIM

HER LAST EPISTLE FOR HIM

One day, all the stars aligned
Wishes came true and I find-
The boy whom I thought will complete me
He says, "I'm different, trust me."

Upon trusting I keep on falling
Little did I know, it's not a fairytale nor novels' calling
Smiles and butterflies are only a bait in the beginning
The truth is, there is no happy ending

But it's too late before I knew
The wound in my heart is always brand new
As a girl scout, I always carry a bandage with me
Thought it's enough to fix me, yet I'm bleeding so strangely

It used to rain in my room every time he jokes
I'm just sensitive, jokes are supposed to be funny, folks!
His jokes sounds like accusations and a burning pinch
I said I didn't like it - but fvck what I like ... he didn't move an inch

Days pass by and I learned to get used to it
They said if you love someone, understand them in every bit
I embraced his humor, I laughed and dived so deep
Hoping he'll realize, I'm worth to keep

He's great, a human - not perfect but great
Change walked in, I wasn't ready, I was late
Sweet regards turned to "Learn to chat me first, it's not always about you"
Oh... thought he knows I don't do the first move, mind you

A couple of arguments before I agreed to 50 50
Silly me, so in love I went crazy
Behind the screen, secretly sobbing
Only to find out he's laughing because he's just joking

If sending paragraphs can bring me far away
I'm definitely in space floating on the milky way Walking on eggshells just to protect his peace
While he ignores all of my please

I can't count the nights I stayed wide awake
Alone. solving the puzzles we used to make
"Great! You don't want me to sleep," he said
For once, lets fix the problem before you go to bed

Change is swallowing him alive
I watched him as tears in my eyes would thrive
Did he really change from a dream to nightmare?
Or everything was just in my head, who really seems to care?

I had lots of reasons to let go
But I chose to stay and heal him from his sorrow I had nights begging
God to save me from drowning in my own tears
Yet I keep on giving chances on someone that fuels my fears

I gave the love that I knew
I embraced the love that he grew
I learned to love all of him - from all the pawns to the king
I learned to adjust and adapt to his scheme - saying, "Please, I'll take the blame - let's just stop fighting"

My bad, I tried to joke one time - "If I get sick and the only cure is that you need to date a different woman for one night, will you do it?"
God forbid the boy got mad in defeat
He said, "You pushed the buttons, now I'm out of character
Ironic! Now, joking makes me a monster

I used to blame his environment for his mood
I used to blame his childhood
I used to make myself believe that he's not the problem
Until he showed me that I'm better off without him

I learned, love is not always the answer
Empathy sometimes is a traitor
Enough pouring in a broken cup
It'll never get full even when you wait for the last drop

Love is a precious gift to receive
Only if it was given without the intention to leave
But I've seen enough, I'll never forget how I almost give my all
Yet, in the end, I was labeled "the villain" ... so cruel