Dimencreas (One-Shots)

Ghost - Columbina

[Y/n's PoV]

They say high school is often considered to be a pivotal period in a person's life where memories are made and lifelong relationships are forged. Many people look back fondly on their high school experiences and recall it as a time when they made some of their happiest and most memorable memories.

However, it's worth noting that not everyone may share this same sentiment, as experiences and memories can vary greatly from person to person.

That includes me.

Because I thought about what we had... was real.

How naive of me.

When Columbina stands in front of me while tears falling down from my eyes as she says those words.

“That’s okay, we're friends, Y/n. We did it because we felt something. You agreed to do things with me without such labels. So I don't understand why most hearts are made to break. And yours? It breaks so beautifully every time.”

I didn't want to cry in front of her. But how can I not when she says those words? Friends. That’s all we ever were to her.

We never made anything official. We did things, things that lovers do. But we were also just 'best friends.'

All the time that we spent together, I was sure she felt something for me. I thought for sure she did. She could not have done all of that if she didn't, right? We were friends, yes, but friends don't kiss like that or had... sex for mere pleasure.

As our eyes met, I saw the same coldness in her gaze. The same indifferent expression on her face. How did she manage to stay so calm when all I wanted to do was collapse right now?

A bitter laugh escaped my lips.

I wanted to say bullshit.

She had to be toying with me by leading me on just because... just to see how far I'd follow her. But I didn't say it.

Instead I said, “I understand.”

What choice did I have? She wasn't mine and never was even though she made me feel like I was hers.

Friends.

I could laugh at that single word.

What a joke.

But I knew it. I knew from the beginning that she wasn't interested in a serious relationship. She made it clear over and over again that she does not want attachments, yet I held on. Like a fucking fool I held on.

I couldn't blame her. She didn't promise me anything.

No relationship.

No commitment.

No future with me.

She doesn't want that and I knew it. Yet I still thought that I could change her mind.

“It’s okay, really,” I whispered, “I don’t need more than what we have.”

Even as I said it, my chest ached. She never meant to hurt me. That was the worst part. She didn’t feel enough to even know she was doing it.

And maybe… that’s what I hated most of all.

Not her distance.

Not her silence.

But how easily she let me love her while keeping her heart just out of reach.

I wanted to fucking scream. To break something and to make her feel even a fraction of the pain she carelessly carved into me.