Secrets And Sins Part 3: Happy ever after

Chapter 83

***Recently, I decided to go back and read part one, it was amazing to see how much my writing style had changed from then to now, I'm definitely going to go back and rewrite some chapters for sure. Out of that rewrite I may have some inspiration for part four, or maybe some standalone chapters.

But for now, this is the end.

I want to thank anyone who is still following this, without your support, I never would have gotten to this point. And a very special thank you to my writer friend ph0enix121, your help has been invaluable.

So that's all I have to say here, at the end of the series that took me nearly two years to finish... I am sorry for the delay on this last chapter; I took my time to get it right. I hope it's worthy.

~Confessor123***

~Ava~

Ava didn't sleep much anymore and when she did, it was fitful, restless. She nearly always was awake before Bea and today was no exception. It was early; she knew that from the chill in the air and the muted grey light peeking through the cracks in the curtain.

It was in these moments that it was the worst.

Despite holding Bea, feeling the rise and fall of her deep slumbering breaths, Ava couldn't shake the feeling of being alone.

It had been months now, months and months of trying so hard to live like a normal person. Spring giving way to summer, the heat and sunshine a complete juxtaposition to the sombre mood of the Cat's Cradle, rebuilding from both the angel's attack and the Church's neglect. And as summer had wound down into Autumn, the cold seeping in under doors and through panes of glass, it became apparent that Ava had not been normal enough.

She had worked so hard not to dwell, to be present for Bea, for everyone, in those months, but she just couldn't. She felt wrong, incomplete, lacking, and with those that everything had lost its shine. The days were a little dimmer, food was a little blander, the entire world took on a tinge of grey, it wasn't fucking fair, and people noticed.

Eyes burned into her back while whispers followed her like shadows as Ava went about her day. She knew people could see her pain, the darkness that hung over her like a funeral shroud. It was...unpleasant. Even knowing that worry fueled the stares, it was still pity, and Ava hated that kind of attention. In the end it was a relief to have been sent away from all of it. Though she wasn't exactly sure what this strange sabbatical was supposed to achieve.

Bea had said this was to help them process, to help them grieve, but the problem was Ava had grieved. God, she had grieved long and hard, and now... why couldn't she just move on?

With everything I've done...perhaps it's what I deserve.

She shook her head, trying to dispel the toxic little thought, but it rooted deep, twisting her stomach. That was the problem with the quiet, her mind was her own worst enemy.

Today was a day to be busy.

Ava rolled her head just enough to see the alarm clock on her bedside table, it was a little after six, not that it mattered, it was their day off. She groaned internally, days off meant hours and hours of free time, as well as hours and hours of being under Bea's scrutiny. There would be few distractions from where her head was at and Ava hated the worry that wore frown lines into her wife's gorgeous face.

I don't deserve her. I never will.

As though Bea had sensed her thoughts she shifted in the confines of Ava's arms with a somewhat unimpressed sleepy mumble and it melted away some of the tension Ava was grappling with. She turned back to her and couldn't help but smile at the cute little furrow that remained between Bea's eyebrows.