Smuts/One Shots

confessions ii. (m + ap)

merlin stayed in his room for three days after the stables incident.

arthur called for him almost every hour the first day, every three hours the second, and finally came around to his chambers on the third. gauis was hesitant to let the prince in, but he finally opened the door enough when he saw the boy tear up. gauis pointed to merlin's door and whispered that he hadn't come out since that day.

the prince made his way over to merlin's room, not even bothering to knock before letting himself in. merlin, to his horror, was just lying there. the raven looked as if he hadn't even rolled over in bed. arthur sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his lover's shoulder gently to wake him up. merlin's eyes opened to reveal a dark redness. it was quite clear that he'd been nonstop crying for days. merlin shot up and scooted til his back was against the wall when his vision cleared and arthur came into view.

"sire! what are you doing here? are you well?" merlin wiped his eyes and tried to smile.

"merlin, sweetheart, you don't have to pretend with me. i know you've been crying." arthur reached for merlin's hand.

"i'm sorry, sire, i just - " merlin started but the prince cut him off.

"merlin. please call me arthur. don't call me sire anymore. i never liked it anyways." arthur's eyes were filled with nothing but adoration for the boy in front of him.

"i - you - why are you here? what about your duties? you have a meeting today!" merlin's eyes widened as he realized arthur would possibly be late.

"merlin, breathe. the meeting was cancelled. i didn't want to be there without you, and i honestly didn't have the energy to hold a meeting today." arthur admitted.

arthur took merlin's hands in his, kissing the back of them before resting them on the bed. merlin could really be an anxious mess, sometimes, but that's what the prince loved about him. the raven looked at arthur with a fear in his eyes that the blonde had never seen before. it was heartbreaking. the future king made a vow to himself that he'd do everything possible to never see that look in merlin's eyes again. 

"i love that you have magic, sweetheart. i love that you have this ability. i didn't say anything in the stables because i was trying to process what you told me and how i was too blind to see it. my father will never know about your magic, unless you want him to. no one has to know that doesn't already." arthur said.

"gwen, morgana, lancelot, and gwaine all know. i was being a klutz and used it in front of them by accident one day, and they've teased me about it nonstop since then." merlin chuckled.

"we can keep it to our little circle then, if that's what you want." arthur offered.

"i just don't want to lose my life to this things i was born with. i've tried countless times, many ways, to rid myself of this, but nothing has ever worked. i don't use it for evil like the king claims every sorcerer does." merlin's voice broke.

"i know, love, i know. you'd never hurt someone without having a good reason. you'd throw a bucket at my head, but that's only after i've already shouted out at you and thrown something at you first." arthur moved closer and wrapped his arms around the raven.

merlin didn't know how to react. arthur had never hugged him before. gauis did when they first met, gwen and morgana do it all the time, but never arthur. merlin hugged him back, of course, but it was still shocking for him. after a few seconds, arthur pulled away and left a kiss on the raven's forehead.

"let's go to my chambers and i can hold you properly, yea?" arthur suggested.

"sure, but your room is probably absolutely filthy." merlin wiped his nose and stood from the bed, holding a hand out for arthur.

"i've had to make do without a servant, sweetheart, of course it's messy." arthur ruffled merlin's hair and pulled him by his wrist towards the prince's chambers.