Motion (Sequel to "Collide")

CHAPTER FORTY THREE

May 30th, 1993

Dear Diary,

My palms are sweaty as I'm writing this. I don't know exactly where I'm writing from, as all I can see is pitch black surrounding us. We've been in the air for approximatively five hours, and we still have around nine hours left before we land in Lhasa, Tibet.

I can barely decipher what I'm feeling. It's a mix of apprehension and fear, with a hint of... excitement? I don't know. I just keep replaying my older self's words on a loop since I got to talk to her. You need to go there. Michael needs you to go there.

I just wonder, am I strong enough to handle whatever Sangye will tell me? What did my older self mean when she said it'd be a turning point in my life? And what's so powerful about our gift that I have yet to discover?

These questions will be answered sooner rather than later, and it's making me nervous.

Michael left a few minutes ago to try and get some rest in the master bedroom at the back. My poor husband really despises flying, but yet he didn't hesitate to tag along on that trip. That's how much he loves me. I can't believe how lucky I am to have him.

Leaving in the middle of one of our family days wasn't the best, but our departure was smoother for Faraji. However, it didn't make the goodbyes any easier on our part. Leaving our son behind was heart wrenching, as it usually is. I had the hardest time letting go of him, but I find comfort in the fact that I know he'll have a blast with his nana and papa. Katherine and Joseph offered to stay over at Neverland for the duration of our trip, and we accepted right away. Grams offered to look after Faraji as well, but as she already was taking care of Andy, we didn't want to add more work to her plate. It was easier that way, as Faraji's school was in Los Olivos, and Andy's in Los Angeles.

Grams wasn't fond of the idea of us going all the way to Tibet. The memory of Hayden's terrible accident was still fresh in her mind, and she feared the same thing would happen again. I understood that. My grandmother had her fair share of losses, and Hayden and I were all the family she had left. I made her the promise that Hayden and I will always look after each other, no matter what.

Everything will be just fine. It has to.

I attached my pen to my journal and shut it with a sigh. Sinking deeper in my comfortable leather seat, I closed my eyes for a few seconds, trying to gather my thoughts.

Michael's jet looked like a hotel suite. It was separated in five different areas: the master bedroom, the sitting room, the main salon, the lounge and of course, the crew's headquarters. The wooden furniture and brown carpeting on the floor reminded me of Neverland, as they were made of the same warm colors. The interior felt intimate as well as luxurious. It had Michael's signature taste all over it.

The humming of the plane was all I could hear, as I was by myself in the sitting room. All the way from the main salon, I could hear Bill or Matt at times, whenever one of them was complaining about the other one cheating during their game of Rummy. Each time, it never failed to make me chuckle to myself.

There was something relaxing about navigating through the clouds. A feeling of freedom, of endless possibilities. I used to believe that people who pass away ended up here, amongst the clouds, watching down on their people. As I looked out of the window of the plane, I wished that was true, for that would have meant that I was close to my parents.

In that moment, as I was on my way to one of the most defining moment of my life, I missed them. I missed their guidance. I missed their love. I missed their voice. God, I almost forgot what they sounded like. Having to enter adulthood without them was the biggest hardship of my life.