Tears made of Sun (Emblem3)

Chapter 5 - Spicing it up, and forgetting the low

I opened my eyes annoyed by the sun, and the wind tangling my hair all over my face. There was a terrible ache in my back because of my sleeping on the floor; I fell asleep immediately last night. LAST NIGHT. It all came rushing back like adrenaline. "I'll call you"! He took my number! I wonder if he would actually call me. Getting up, I stared at the mirror across the room and saw that I was smiling and playing with my hair- unconsciously. This was ridiculous. I didn't even know the guy, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME. He hadn't told me his name. I should know it, I know that I know it. I know him, it's like my brain is trying to hide who he is.

Too tired to dress up and too hyper to sit around, I decided to call sick from work and take the day off fixing my apartment. I tied my hair and headed to the kitchen, determined to make my first successful coffee. As the water was boiling, I closed the windows and took another look around. Clothes were hanging everywhere, and there was dust in every surface. Pillows were on the ground and the bed was a mess, with a large coffee stain right in the middle. I have been living like a cannibal. Slowly, I started to grab the clothes and blankets and when I couldn't hold anymore I threw them in the washing machine. I started it and went to the kitchen. Sadly, my successful coffee ambitions were yet to be fulfilled, but no matter how horrible the taste was, sitting in  the quiet room, drinking coffee and looking out above the city under the sunlight, had something very sweet about it. So I guess the coffee was bittersweet after all.

I went to the bank and took some cash and then visited the nearest furniture store. I bought two small round, puffy seats, a green carpet and a little table to eat and lay my accessories on.  They told me they would bring it over to my house in an hour or two, so taking advantage of the time, I went to the market. Coming out with the grocery bags and all, I dropped everything at the nearest bench and sat down to catch my breath. What was wrong with me? Just yesterday I wanted to end my life and now I was out buying furniture and groceries? Was this a middle-age crisis? Why would I be having a middle-age crisis at 19? I knew what I wanted, it was to end the pain; but right now I felt as if there was no pain. So why wasn't I feeling horrible? It was painful being okay for so long  and I knew that this is not how I was supposed to be feeling. But as hard as I tried, his voice kept ringing in my head, "I'll call you". So I couldn't be sad, I would just have to wait and see and then everything would be back to normal...hopefully.. or not? Rejecting the idea from my head that it was possible for me to continue being "happy", I decided to enjoy it while it lasts, and smiled as mystery man came into my head again. There was something so familiar about his smile, about who he was. I felt like my brain was playing a game on me but as I glanced at my watch I remembered the furniture delivery and stopped wondering about familiarities.

Sure enough, as soon as I arrived at my apartment, a truck pulled over and two men opened the back and took out the table and the seats. Rushing, I urged them to bring the furniture all the way upstairs because I had no strength and I was carrying too many things. They looked at me hesitantly, so I tipped them off with 20$ and that seemed to be convincing enough.

There was another feeling going into my apartment this morning. I laid down the grocery bags and thanked the men for helping me. It was different, nothing I had ever felt before; a feeling that kept me on my feet and spun my stomach in constant circles. The moment that my phone would ring and I would hear his voice; that moment had been on my mind all day and I knew better than to lie to myself and pretend I wasn't nervous. It was so exhaustingly pointless though, that is not how you meet your true love? TRUE LOVE? I don't even know him of course he's not my true love, he was just probably finding some way to kill time until someone could pick him up. And that's good because all I was doing was killing time as well. And nothing else. Nope. Absolutely nothing. Annoyed at myself for waiting for his call, I found other ways to distract myself and when I finally looked up at the clock after a day of tidying and decorating it was 6 o'clock in the afternoon. I knew it. He wouldn't call.

The bed covers were just taken out of the drying machine so they were soft and smelled like lavender, and tired as I was, I took one last look at the great job I had done fixing up the place and closed my eyes. It wasn't long before I could feel myself drifting away, and finally I gave in to the sweet sense of sleep. But it didn't last long because what seemed like ten minutes later, an annoying sound woke me up. STUPID PHONE SHUT UP. Phone? MY PHONE WAS RINGING.

I sprinted to the kitchen and picked it up from the counter. It had a number but I didn't have it saved, so there was no name. I picked up as calmly as possible.

"Hello?", I could hear breathing from the end of the line and a huge inhalation before the words,

"Hey, um... so it's me. Hi. Um, everything alright?". He sounded more nervous than I was, which strangely surprised me and made me feel much better. I was happier rather than nervous now, because he had called me back, and I knew that I was more than a killing of his time.

"Hey! Yeah, I'm fine, what about you? What's up?".

"I'm cool. So listen up....there's like this party I'm going to tonight and it's pretty close to where you live, so I was just thinking you could come or something?".

Wow, that was pretty forward. Maybe he wasn't nervous, maybe he was just bored or very chill which made him sound speechless. Whatever the reason, he had invited me to a party and there was no way in hell I was saying no. 

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HEEEEEELLOOO sooo I'm not going to be uploading for a week now cause I will be gone and have no internet... but please vote, and comment and don't forget to tell your friends!!!! <3