Tears made of Sun (Emblem3)

Chapter 19 - Here's to all the Broken People

"Oh darling I'm so glad you're here. I couldn't bear to lose you as well..." My mother's eyes were still red and swollen from our intense dinner. I was gasping for breath, constantly wiping tears off my face. I had missed her so much. And my dad, and my sister, and Jake, HOME. I deserved a serious beating for the way I had treated them but they had already forgiven me. And it made me feel even worse. How could I ever distance myself so much from the people I loved so much, now that they needed me?

"Mom, calm down. You're not going to lose me. Please. Stop crying." I smiled with hope. We had all gathered in the living room. My dad sat at the edge of the couch  weeping quietly behind my mom, who was holding my hands and staring into my eyes with hope. On the nearby armchair, Jake had my sister in his laps and hugged her tightly to stop her crying. They had grown so close that year.

"Alright sweety," she wiped her tears, "okay! From now on we are going to be HA-PPY! Who wants ice-cream guys? Let's cheer up! We're altogether!"

Well. That was a desperate transition. But Mom will be Mom, always hiding the bad side of life and pretending everything is going perfect. It can drive you insane, that's exactly what my sister was talking about.

"Actually, Miss G," Jake broke in shyly, " I was hoping I could take Ray out for a while tonight."

Guilty to leave my parents alone once again, I shook my head but Jake didn't notice. I couldn't leave them now. Not now. When all their wounds were open and they were so hurt.

"Jake, maybe we can make it another day for now...I think I' better stick around" I responded quickly.

"Oh don't be ridiculous, we are fine! You two go now and have fun!" My mom snapped happily.

"Mom..." I tried to object, but she waved her hand dismissively. Before I knew it, she almost kicked us both out the door happily, and we were on our way. Thankfully the car ride wasn't awkward at all. Obviously me and Jake had a lot to catch up with and I was glad that he didn't hold a grudge against me for the way I had acted. Apparently, he seemed he had too much to fill me up on about the town gossip, and couldn't waste the chance to do so. At times, I slipped through his words and my mind drifted to Wes. What was he doing now? Had he met anyone? My heart ached at the thought and as much as I hated to admit it, he had grown on me and frankly, all I wanted right now was to be next to him. Even if I didn't know him well enough. The images of the perfect girls at the beach two days ago flashed through my mind and I wrapped my attention around Jake quickly, shaking the thoughts away. Landing my head back in Jake's car I began to notice he had been asking me a question.

" What do you say? Wanna go?" he was saying.

"Uhh, sure!" I replied nervously not wanting to make him feel ignored.

"Cool, so I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow, or something like that." He smiled with relief.

Well I could always make my sister call him and ask him where we would go. A wave of shame flooded my body as I had been ignoring Jake for the whole ride, and now I was left with a mysterious rendezvous I knew nothing about.  Thankfully something else had caught both our attentions. It began to rain. This was the first summer rain. First summer rain without Tyler. I missed him so much. And all those old feelings California had began to heal throughout the past month, suddenly rushed back and I had to tighten my wrist around the seatbelt to push back the tears violently. Summer rain. Jake and I turned to each other knowingly. Every single time we had gone to Yogli Mogli, there hadn't been a time when we sat inside. Outside was our thing. It was our only option.

"Do you just wanna go somewhere else?" Jake said suggestively.

"No. It's just rain." I shrugged. I know it sounds psycho, but I suddenly had an urge of feeling the rain.